Stand by me (stiam fanfic)

Talk dirty to me

Hi peeps. I don't wanna sleep in da same room with my pops cause he snores so I'm sitting on my grammy's couch watching "Martin" and chillin. so yep. kinda bored. words of wisdom for today: if your pops begins to snore, get your stuff and walk out the door ;) rhymes.

Liam's P.O.V.

I. Hate. This. Stiles is laying in my room on my bed and I'm sitting on my computer chair on the computer doing homework.

And he keeps. Fucking. Groaning. It finally gets to me. I whiz my chair around.

"Stiles! I swear if you don't shut. Up. I'm gonna cut your balls off!" I yell at him and he stops doing it and sits up.

"But I'm booorrred," he says to me dragged out. I roll my eyes.

"Then do something," I turn back to my computer.

"Like what?" The annoying voice behind me says.

I growl. "Play a game," I said irritated.

He seems to lighten up with energy. "Oh! Okay! How about truth or dare!" he says cheerfully.

I spin around. "I meant play a game with yourself Stiles," I said to him. As much as I wanted to play....so very bad.....I had homework to do and I promised my parents that I would get good grades this year.

"Can't. Already did it this morning,"

Images of Stiles masturbating clogged my mind but I quickly shook them out and sighed heavily.

"Fine,"

"Okay truth or dare,"

"Truth,"

"Pff. Chicken,"

"I am not," yes I am.

"Yes you are," He's right.

"Shut up Stiles,"

"BOCK BOCK BOCK BOCK BOCK!!"

"Okay fine! Dare!"

"Go streaking in the neighborhood,"

"No. Fucking. Way," I say to him.

He groans. "But wwhhyyyyy?" Stiles says to me.

His voice is making me want to. "No Stiles," I say forcefully.

"Ugh. Fine. Um....oh! Prank phone call!" he points to me and snaps his fingers. I just roll my eyes again. He tosses me his phone.

"To who?"

"Malia,"

"What do I say?"

"Make it up stupid,"

"Shut up," I find the number in his phone saved as "My boo thang" and call it and put it on speaker.

While it's ringing my mind goes wild.

Shit. What do I say? I mean we're cool I guess but I mean....she's dating the guy I like. What am I gonna say? If I say something sexy pretending I'm Stiles it would probably turn her on. And if I pretend I'm Stiles and say something rude he might hate me. Ugh. Life decisions are hard.

The phone stops ringing and Malia answers and soon the idea pops up in my head.

"Stiles?" Malia's voice fills the room and Stiles gets excited. I smile.

"Who is this?" I say back in my regular voice.

"Uh.....who is this?" Malia says back.

"Stiles' girlfriend. Who are you?" Stiles frowns immediately and looks wide eyed with his mouth open wide.

"WHAT?! No! I'M STILES' GIRLFRIEND!!" she yells back and I chuckle.

I gasp. "What!? He's been cheating on me!? With another man!?" I say and Stiles' jaw falls deeper.

"I'M A GIRL!" she yells back and I full out laugh.

"So he's bi?" I struggle to say in between giggles. Stiles seemed to snap out of his gaze and pops up like a pop tart.

"LIAM!!" Stiles' voice echoes the room.

"YOU LITTLE MOTHER FUCKER YOU'RE HOOKING UP WITH LIAM!?" Malia says back and I have a pleasurable look on my face and Stiles chases after me in my room and I rush out the door with Malia still yelling. "STILES I'M GONNA KILL YOU YOU SON OF A BITCH!!" Malia screams.

I rush into the kitchen and rush around the table with Stiles at the other side looking menacingly dangerous.

"Oh wait. How often do you two have sex?" I ask through the phone. Stiles gives me a look.

"Liam...."

"None of your business bitch!" 

"Oh I'm so sorry honey you don't get it enough do you?" I say and Stiles rushes to me and I make a run over the counter top and straight to my living room.

"Oh honey I'm sorry. We're always going at it. Day and night. Dawn and dusk. Even when he's worn out he still has those smooth moves-"

I heard a beeping sound signaling she had hung up right as Stiles tackled me to the floor and I was in a fit of giggles.

"Relax relax she hung up already!" I said before he killed me. Stiles lessens his anger. "I hate you," he says from on top of me as I'm still pinned to the ground.

"No you don't. You love me," I smile and he rolls his eyes at me and finally cracks a smile himself. "Whatever," He gets off of me and helps me up.

I take his hand but as soon as I'm mid air he let's go and I fall back down hitting my head on the table.

"Ahhh seriously?" I say to a still pissed Stiles.

"That's only the entree to the revenge platter. I'm bringing a whole meal," he says ans I get up on my own this time.

"Moronic brain cells," I mutter as we walk up the stairs.

"Psychotic biceps," He says back to me. I roll my eyes at his comment.

"Proves my case," We get upstairs and it's late and Stiles is about to lay on the bed when I stop him.

"Uh uh nope. You hurt my head you no longer get the bed. You get the floor this time," I say to him and he rolls his eyes but sets up camp on the floor anyway.

I get under the covers and lay comfortably under them.

But the only thoughts going through my head is Stiles masturbating.

And when I wake up he's laying in my bed pressing against me with his hand lazily on my crouch. And ya know what?

I didn't even mind.

Hope dis was good enough. I also hope you guys got the whole brains and braun scenerio when Liam said moronic brain cells and Stiles said psychotic biceps. HAHAHA! seems like less drama and more umph with stiamness. yesssss okay well peace 4 now guys cause where I am it's 1:22 in da morning and I should not be awake so bye queens and kings of the nerds.