Just BeCuz

Chapter 6.

Adriana's POV

Jesse opens the door for me and I climb into my bed, but I don't sleep.
"Adrian." Jesse sits in front of my face. I try to turn away but his heartbroken face stops me. I close my eyes instead.
"Adrian, please look at me." He begs.
My eyes open.
"What Just happened?" He asks.
I shake my head.
"Just tell me."
I shake my head.
"Adri."
I shake my head.
"Fine."  He mutters.
He starts to walk towards his bed. He stops, turns around and walks towards my bed. He kisses my forehead.
"Good night Adriana." He grumbles.

I feel like Jesse is angry with me but I sleep anyway. My dreams aren't pleasant.

"There She is."
"She's so ugly."
"How did she come here."
"Must never miss a meal fatty."
"I heard she had a disease."
All the other girls stop talking.
"A disease? Oh my God, the girl with a boy's name is contagious."
No one sat by me ever again.
"She's so useless."
"Tall for nothing,"
"Lazy."
"Indolent."
"Fool."
It's true, that's me. I will never be perfect. I don't deserve people who love me. I am a monster.
I am a monster,
I am a witch.
I am evil
I was made by mistake
I shouldn't have been born
I should just die.
I should.
But I am too cowardly to kill myself.
I'm the lowest of the low.
I am Adriana Willis.
The biggest fool on the planet.
I wear glasses but I am blind
I work hard yet I am lazy
I barely eat but I am fat.
I pass classes but I am stupid.
I can do almost everything I set my mind to but I am totally and completely useless.

I wake up to Jesse wiping my cheek.
A sob escapes my lips.
"Adri." He looks pained. "Please stop crying."

I don't deserve you Jesse.
Don't you know that.
I'm  useless.

Another sob escapes my lips.

I'm pathetic.

"Adri."

"Jesse." I respond.
He pulls me into a hug and I cry till I run out of tears.
I fall asleep in his arms that night.

I wake up to his arms around my waist. Mine around his. My face on his  chest. Our legs tangled together and Jesse's green eyes on me.

"Hey." He groans.
"Hi."
"You okay?"
"Yea."
"Good. I think you should get more sleep though." He advices.
"Why?"
"It's 12 Am." He tells me.
"Why are you awake?" I question.
"I couldn't sleep."
"It's my fault. I'm sorry. You sleep." I start rambling.
"It's not your fault. I needed to make sure you were okay. Everything is all right. Just close your eyes and sleep Adrian. I'll sleep too."
And that's the first time I slept with a boy that wasn't my family member.