A Scout Is...

Chapter 1: Down the Mountain

"Oh my darling, oh my darling, oh my darling –"

"Dude, do you not know any other songs?"

Big bad Sheriff Andy with his big bad cowboy hat looked up in his rear view mirror at the chubby boy sitting in his back seat. He eyed the boy called Trevor, who was sitting in between two other boys, and tried to give him the evil eye but forgot he had his black sunglasses on – so in essence it had no effect on Trevor who just stared into those sunglasses. "What'd you say boy?

Trevor cleared his throat. "I said don't you know any other songs other than, 'Oh my darling?' I just don't really like it. Maybe if you turned the radio on –"

Sheriff Andy slammed the brakes as hard as he could. All the three Boy Scouts in the back lurched forward with a yelp of "Holy crap!" And then their mouths hit the seats in front of them.

The blue minivan that had been traveling behind them swerved out to the other side of the road. One of the car's passengers shouted, "My Grandpa can drive better than that – and he's blind!" They continued on down the road, running right through a STOP sign at a three way intersection

Meanwhile, the three boys in Sheriff Andy's truck were bewildered and surprised. Trevor had knocked one of his contacts out of his eyes; Sean had a pain in his nose; and Tyler was just lying there. Trevor straightened himself up, putting the contact back into his eye. "Jeez. Thanks for slamming on the – oh, Tyler are you okay?"

"You mean except for my chest being pushed up against a sturdy seat and my seat belt squeezing my insides out? Yeah, I'm just dandy," he sarcastically replied, rubbing his tummy.

"What the heck happened?" Sean's base voice questioned. His Yankees hat was crooked and he had an impression of the front seat on his face.

Sheriff Andy turned around in his seat, and said, "Now Trevor, I know I'm not the best singer in the world. But I do not appreciate people making fun of my singing. When I was a boy, if you couldn't sing you were an outcast. Kind of like Sean over here."

"Hey!" The boys giggled at this however, because they knew of Andy's light foreplay and diverse sense of humor.

"I'm just playing with ya Sean." Andy scratched his head, pondering his next words. He must choose them carefully; and he still was blowing steam off at Trevor for complaining about his singing. Why, he had only been singing that for two and a half hours. "Now I know I'm not really a sheriff. But, I remember a time when you could turn on the radio and not hear cow crap yodeling about a bad romance, or being sexy and you know it. Why, back in the sixties, seventies, eighties, there were some sweet tunes. That was back when people sang songs," he added in. "You had KC and the Sunshine Band, The Doors, Madonna... the list is endless." He looked at the boys. "Dammit, Tyler! Stay awake will ya." Tyler straightened himself up in his chair. "Can I sit in the front seat, please?" he asked benevolently. "I'm so squished here. And it smells weird."

"Well you'll just have to get over it. Now as I was saying, I enjoy good music – like good old country. What I was singing was good music. When I was out on the road traveling across the country, there were some good tunes playin'. This here radio," he said pointing to the confounded contraption that had betrayed him at the start of the millennium when Britney Spear's came on, "this does not play music – except maybe for a few modern country songs – that's 'bout it." He held the boys' gaze for another minute. They didn't care. Usually they would love to hear his advice, his stories, but when it came to anything electronic, 'screw you Andy' would be written all over their faces. Andy just sighed. Taking his cowboy hat off and wiping the sweat from his brow, he started the car again.

For the next twenty minutes all the boys were silent. Sean wanted to listen to his iPod but decided it would be better to have it lie low in his pocket for a little while. Trevor just sat there absent minded, thinking about playing Zelda and how he could beat the final dungeon. Tyler picked lint of his duffle bag. He sat thinking to himself as he sometimes did. Looking out the window he saw massive dark cumulonimbus clouds building a fortress in the clarion sky, making it their own. The trees' branches swayed in the eastbound wind, which was picking up speed. The truck rumbled along the road. Sheriff Andy was quietly humming to himself.