Seventeen ☙ One Shots

my love for you ☙ Jihan

>ship: Jeonghan x Joshua (Jihan)
>genre: angst
>author: shuacherry

!warning: blood&depression!
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jisoo loved jeonghan. he loved him with all his heart. he could spend days staring into jeonghan's beautiful eyes without getting tired of it. he could spend his whole life cuddling with jeonghan on a couch while watching some cheesy movies. he would wake up at 6am everyday just to watch the beautiful human being he loved so much while sleeping. jisoo wished nothing more than that. he wished it could be like that. but these were just his dreams. every time he would get pulled back into reality his tears would fall nonstop. the reality was cruel. jisoo hated it so much. jeonghan didn't love him. he loved his boyfriend seungcheol and to him jisoo was just another friend out of many. he would leave jisoo every time seungcheol called him. on the outside jisoo pretended that it was okay but on the inside his heart would always shatter apart when jeonghan would do so. out if that, jisoo's mind created a phobia of being unloved and alone. every time his friends would leave hus house his mood would change drastically and his depressions would hit him in the face.

it was in the afternoon when his best friend hansol and him sat at jisoo's dining table and talked about some random stuff. ,,you heard about jeonghan and seungcheol thinkin' about moving together?", hansol took this as no big deal but for jisoo it was like someone stabbed him right in his chest. he already felt like he ran out of breath only by thinking about jeonghan going on dates with seungcheol but this was like a whole new level. he felt like being near to death only when hansol told him the news.
„oh...that's great, i guess...", he softly whispered, not knowing what to say. „you okay, soo?", jisoo looked up at his best friend and he could clearly see the concern in his eyes. jisoo knew he couldn't lie to hansol, he would find out anyways. just by the thought of telling someone about his feeling for the already-taken-male, he started to slowly scratch the wounds on this arms which weren't fully healed yet. „i can't take this anymore.", it was only a whisper but hansol immediately understood. he grabbed the older by his shoulders and watched as jisoo's tears started to slowly fall down. „jisoo, what is it?", by now jisoo was crying painfully and the blood from the now-open wounds was covering his whole hand. „i-i love him! i-i love jeonghan so much!", hansol's eyes widened and he pulled the american boy into a tight hug. „i'm sorry, i didn't know.", he told jisoo. after that it stayed silent. only jisoo's quiet sobs could be heard. after some time they pulled away and hansol noticed the blood on jisoo's hands. „holy shit, jisoo! what the heck is this?!", he grabbed his best friend's bleeding hand and pulled the sleeves of the grey hoodie away. he was greeted by the sight of many scars: some were already healed and some were open and covered in blood. hansol gasped and didn't hesitate a moment and picked up the slightly smaller one. he ran into the bathroom, placed jisoo on a chair and started searching for the aid kit. „leave it, hansol... i have nothing to loose...", he heard jisoo's weak voice. „stop talking nonse-", they were interrupted by the sound of the doorbell and a familiar voice shouting ‚jisoo! let me in!'. the two boys immediately knew who it was. because the person wouldn't stop knocking, hansol rushed to the door and glanced into a pair of red puffy eyes. „jeonghan hyung, it's really not-" „seungcheol cheated on me.", hansol gasped. he couldn't believe that this warm-hearted man could cheat on the person he seemed to love so much. „where's jisoo?", hansol remembered his bleeding best friend and quickly pulled jeonghan into the bathroom. the older covered his mouth with both his hands and tears were forming in the corners of his eyes. jeonghan was more than just shocked by the sight he was greeted with: a pale jisoo with teary eyes and hands covered in blood. „j-jisoo...?", jeonghan took small steps forward to the weak male in front of him. jisoo didn't answer, instead his eyes slowly started to close. „no, no, no, no, no!", hansol started to panic. „he lost too much blood! i'll call the ambulance!", hansol ran out of the room leaving the elders alone. jeonghan kneeled down in front of jisoo and started to scan his arms. everywhere were scars, some old abd some very new. he didn't know the younger was hurting himself. it hurts jeonghan to see a person that was extremely important to him suffering that bad. he then looked at jisoo's eyes which were a little open by now. „jisoo!" „i'm... sorry." „you'll be fine! don't worry-", he was interrupted by a soft ‚jeonghan'. the eyes of the other boy were fully open now and at the sight of these lifeless-looking eyes, jeonghan slowly started to stroke jisoo's cold cheek. „i'm sorry... i love you way too much.", he then closed his eyes again and everything around him remained silent as he fell into a deep slumber.

~~~

he woke up to someone squeezing his hands. he carefully tried to lift his eyelids. they felt heavy and his head was hurting. after some time struggling to open his eyes the boy was greeted by a beautiful male sitting beside him. „jisoo... you're awake.", the male in front of him quickly brushed away a tear that was making it's way out of the boy's eyes. „jeonghan... what... how long...", jisoo's voice cracked. „you passed out in your bathroom due to loosing too much blood. you're really lucky, jisoo. you almost didn't make it. gosh, i was so scared. you slept for five days by the way.", jisoo only nodded, unable to do anything else. nearly died? jeonghan was worried? he then sighed as he remembered the last thing he told jeonghan before he passed out. 'i love you way too much.' suddenly he felt a warm pair of lips against his own. before jisoo could react, jeonghan pulled away and whispered a quiet
‚from now on i will take good care of you'
into his ears.