I have a secret i want to tell you

My dear

I couldn't have expected less,
Of you or anyone else.
But you've broken my soul enough,
However you don't see it.
I wonder once again
I need you as i am
It hurts to live.
I must have caught myself trying to kill myself so many times that i just don't feel anything.
I couldn't sleep alone.
Now I can't sleep without hoping to see you someday or somehow.
You were supposed to live and i was supposed to die
But
You
Couldn't
Hold on

No more.
There's no hope in us.