I have a secret i want to tell you

28th october.19 04:04 am

I have controlled so much of what is inside of me that i just don't even understand what part is me and what part is the problems within me.
I imagine so many sceneries where i lose control and i can only hope that it never happens the way it is in my mind. Its not pretty and i hate the feeling which comes from within it.
I hate the way my mind plays tricks on me
Where am i?
Who am i?
Am i even truly here or is it just another place i created in my mind?
I sometimes can't cope with how trapped i feel and all i want is to shout and let all of it out.
Even if I hurt myself, because the things inside me hurts me than the physical pain.

I wish i felt comfortable enough to actually just be myself fully. But that is not what i should ever try to do.
I still am seeking for who i am and what is real.
I may never find out completely but i will one day feel less impacted by how my thoughts usually affect me.
I won't let it consume me like flames burning up a wooden house.
I will feel it burn just like i always have, but you( things inside my mind ) will not see me lose it all.
Not anymore. Not now at least.