Hey y'all so I was hella bored so I just decided to post this because I think it's probably the stupidest and funniest story I've ever written/read :)). I made myself cry laughing while reading this so hopefully it'll make you laugh at least somewhat lol. (It's p easy to make me laugh though)
Here we go ;)
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Narrator: Here is what thou shall seest:
It is an ordinary day in high school, and Frizbee and Chad are lovers. Chad and Pyramid playeth on the football team together, while Frizbee plays on the ultimate frisbee team. For her bountiful beauty and unforgettable ultimate frisbee skills, both Chad and Pyramid admireth Frizbee. One day in football practice, Pyramid and Chad work on their tackling drills. Chad has the ball in hand, while Pyramid runs at Chad full speed ahead. As Pyramid puts his head down in order to crack heads with Chad, they both end up getting major concussions and go to the hospital.
In the hospital, Frizbee switches the painkillers with humankillerz. Chad dies in his sleep, and Pyramid wakes up with Frizbee at his bedside in the hospital. Pyramid loses all his memories, but the memories of the breath-taking Frizbee, and with Frizbee, his new girlfriend, they liveth happily ever after.
(Act Ⅰ) At School:
Chad: School is so stupid... why even bother? I have all the friends in the world,
my grades don't even matter. Onto football practice, where I will knock out all the
competition. I heard Frizbee will be sitting in the bleachers. This is my perfect opportunity
to sway her to my favor, and away from Pyramid.
Pyramid: This is good. I got A's on all of my tests. I am doing so great! School is so easy,
from academics to the football field! Speaking of football. . . Frizbee. She's coming to
watch us practice! If only Chad wasn't in the way of everything! I have to defeat him
today at practice. Frizbee will be so impressed, and every one of Chad's aspirations of
love will vanish.
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(Act II) On the Football Field:
Coach: Alright everyone get into your tackling lines, we are hittin' hard today! I don't wanna see no slackin'!
Chad: Hey Pyramid! I see thou checkin' out my girl, Frizbee. Sorry but thouest don't haveth a chance, haha.
Pyramid: Chad you can barely read, write, or understandeth the coach. I think it will be even harder for you to stop me from stealing thy beautiful girl.
Chad: Alright Pyramid, that's the lasteth time you're gonna disrespecteth me! It's over now kiddo.
Narrator: As Chad and Pyramid line up on opposite ends of the field, they look at each other with a vile hatred in their eyes. With the summer sun beating down on them and gleaming in the turf, Chad and Pyramid run full speed toward each other, exerting their dominance over one another. Frizbee stands on the sidelines, confused and bewildered as to who to cheer for. But in her head she's secretly cheering for Pyramid, because, huh, I guess love leads to betrayal.
Coach: Tweet!
[Chad [with the ball] and Pyramid run at each other and knock heads!]
[Both spin around and fall unconscious]
Narrator: [Jumps to the center of the fight] Don't worry children, Nick and Justin have not actually cracked their heads and have not receiveth major concussions.
Coach: Hey! Get up! Hey! No laying around at my practice! Hello?
Guys! Quick someone call an ambulance!
(Act III) Chad and Pyramid are both in the same hospital room
[Chad and Pyramid wake up]
Pyramid: Hey, Chad, are you ok?
Chad: Shut up Pyramid I'm tryin to sleepeth.
Pyramid: Aight man I don't want any trouble.
[Chad and Pyramid both go back to sleep]
Frizbee: (Sneaks into the room where Pyramid and Chad are recovering and switches Chad's medicine with humankillerz. Then slowly sneaks out of the room)
These humankillerz should do the job, I can finally rid myself of Chad and haveth Pyramid. With this, the one I truly loveth will now be mine.
Narrator: Huh, I guess that love makest people do crazy things.
Next morning
Doctor: Here is your medicine Chad.
[hands over the humankillerz]
Chad: Thanks, but this smells kinda weird, are you sure this is the right stuff?
Doctor: According to the label it is.
Chad: Okay!
[takes medicine]
3 hours later
Chad: I don't feel too good. I think I need a nap, yes a nap should definitely do the job.
Pyramid: I agree, a nap always cures me.
Chad: Sounds good!
[goes to sleep]
Doctor: [running in]
CHAD DON'T SLEEP, IT WAS THE WRONG MEDICINE, CHAD!
Frizbee: [crying]
CHAD! Chad! Please wake up! I need you! You're my one and only true love! ButIsecretlywanttogetridofyousoIcanhavePyramid. Oh no! Chad, wake up!
Doctor: I'm afraid, t h a t c h a d i s g o n e .
Frizbee: NOOO!
[falling to her knees, crying]
Narrator: Sike! If thou thought that Nick was really dead, thou art silly! Nick would never take humankillerz.
Doctor: Looketh on the bright side... Chad shall have a good nap.
[Doctor nervously and awkwardly chuckles to herself]
Pyramid: Wait no! Don't runneth away Frizbee, I lovest thou more than Chad ever could have lovest thou.
Frizbee: [wiping away fake tears]
Oh Pyramid! I lovest thou too! I have lovest thou this entire time, from even the first sight of thou!
Doctor: [walks up to Frizbee]
Well, I guess now that Pyramid has gotten rest, he can go home as long as you make sure he takes his painkillers and NOT humankillerz.
[Doctor chuckles to herself, and as soon as the doctor finishes the sentence, Pyramid and Frizbee book it]
Doctor: Of course, as soon as the young lovers hearest this news, they decideth to book it, and get married, just like all the other youngins... what was the name of the famous ones again? Jubilee and Roman?
A few hours later
Frizbee: Mine one true love! I have loveth thou so madly this whole time; I even gaveth Chad the humankillerz to get to thou.
Pyramid: O, Frizbee! I clashed heads with Chad to win over thy love. I loveth thou, my unforgettable... unmanly... unique ultimate frisbee player! Wilt thou be mine?
Frizbee: Of course, I loveth thou as I loveth ultimate frisbee!
Pyramid: Then thou must loveth me a lot.
Frizbee: I do my dearest Pyramid. Let us be together forever and ever.
Pyramid: [takes a knee and pulls out a ring pop]
O my dearest Frizbee, would you do the honors and become my wonderous wife?
Frizbee: Of course Pyramid! Thou doesn't even have to asketh of me!
Pyramid: Awesome!
[Pyramid puts the ring pop on Frizbee's finger]
Frizbee: It's a bit loose, but we shall get it tailored.
[Frizbee tastes the ring pop]
Mmm... The flavor of this ring is sweet like our eternal love.
Pyramid: How metaphorical!
Narrator: And thus this play ends with the two lovers who were once separated by a wall- haha... I mean Chad, but are now united through the loopholes of love, aka betraying and doing crazy things to their best friend and boyfriend to get together. Isn't love such a wondrous thing!
