Dreams

Chapter 15

I rub my eyes, the scorching sun burning bright through my window. I push away my blanket, it's actually so hot today. What time is it anyway? I reach out my hand to the side table and grab my phone, my thumb pressing the home button as it shows the time in big numbers; 2.27 AM. My eyes widen as I jolt up straight, did I miss school? Why didn't anyone wake me? But then realize it's a Sunday. I fall back into the comfort of my bed and bring my teddy closer to me as I cuddle it tightly, holding on to it like my life depends on it.

Back in the good days when I was five, my dad gifted me this brown teddy with a little red bow around its neck and black beady eyes. It was the first ever toy I owned, the rest of the toys were my two years older sister; Emily's used ones... Well, she died when she was three. Her reason of death isn't clear to me still but to be honest I never questioned my parents about it because it's like she never existed, I was just one when she died, so I guess I never cared. So back to the teddy, I was really happy to finally own a toy because even though I didn't even know what 'death' meant then but I knew it was something bad so my sisters' toys kind of haunted me. The moment I held the stuffed toy I fell in love with it. I named it Bostuf because I liked his bow and because it was a stuffed toy so it was a mixture of bow and stuff. Mr. Bostuf instantly became my best friend and even now he's still the best-est friend I've ever had.

I remember my night's decision. I think I need full attention for Lucid dreaming so why not wait till graduation? I'll have plenty of time before college starts. Graduation is just one month away. I think I can wait till then? I hope I can.

-------•

My hands swayed upon the paper filling it's blank parts with dark colors. Art is something that comes to me so naturally and I enjoy doing it also. I lifted my paint brush from the paper and dipped it into a pot of black paint. I don't know what I was going to paint but my hands worked even when my mind didn't. Painting was a form of relaxation for me. My hands seemed to work by itself, not even needing my help. The once white paper was slightly damp because of the constant use of water paint on it. I thought about my dreams. No, not the demonic dreams, but my actual dreams, like what I would like to do after college. I was thinking an artist but I also had some interest in law. But I don't think I would be able to get in law school. As my mind was thinking and my hands were working I realized I had been staring at the wall for too long, my eyes shifted to the sheet of paper, and the moment I saw what I had painted, my eyes widened in horror, I bit my lip to stop myself from making any noise. I had drawn the face of the most horrifying creature I had ever encountered, the demon from my dreams.

I don't know why but my eyes started burning, as a single tear rolled down from the corner of my eye. I am scared. Truly scared. I hold up the paper to examine it once more before I rip it apart, tearing it into the tiniest pieces. My feet take me to the small dustbin at the corner of my room as I throw the bits of paper in. As I turn around to get out of my room, because I felt choked in here, I spotted this one piece of paper that I had thrown in the bin. A perfectly painted eye of the demon stared at me, threatening me. It was just a painting, I assure myself as I walk out of my room. My mother sits up straight on the couch, a slight smile on her face, looking at old photographs I suppose. I sit beside her, my head finding it's way to her lap as I cry. Like a little lost girl, I cry into her lap as her fingers tangle into my unruly hair, and her mouth utters words of concern, because that's what I felt like, a little lost girl, that's what I am.

I finally sit up, looking at my mother's worried eyes, and only then do I realize how much she has truly sacrificed for the sake of me.

"Laura? Honey, I have never seen you like this, are you alright? Is everything okay?"

She isn't supposed to know about it.

"I'm fine, I just.. I don't know, I was thinking about everything you've done for me and I.." Even though that's a lie but I truly meant what I was going to say before my mum cuts me off with a hug.

"You're my daughter and I love you, you shouldn't feel guilty"

I smile, because that's all I can manage right now.

"What are you doing?" I ask changing the subject.

"Looking at baby pictures of you and your... Sister"

"Oh?" I pick up a picture where my parents each hold a baby. My mother is holding my sister and my father is holding me, both of them smiling at the camera. A perfect family.

"You know, even though we just spent three years with your sister, I can tell she was so much like you"

"Mhm" I say picking up a bunch of pictures as I examine them.

"We were devastated when she died, she meant so much to us, she is also a reason of your father's present state" she says, her voice breaking at the end.

"Your sister was really beautiful, just like you"

I take a look at a few other photos, one of them had baby me on my sister's skinny lap. I noticed a small dark pattern on the wall behind my sister. Her shadow I suppose. But that dark shadow appeared to be almost on every picture of my sister. I didn't give it a second thought.

"Be right back, gotta pee" I say to my mum as I get up and hear my mum stifle a laugh behind me.

School reopens on Monday NOO;(x