Veil Of Innocence

Chapter 14

                             Zainab

Two months here and it already feels like home! Of course I remember my real home or homes; I can’t just laze around here, I have to do everything myself!
No maids to wash your clothes, no mum to clean up after you and no dad to take you out whenever you please.

But apart from that its cool, I’ve made a best friend, her name’s Vanessa and she is literally me but with a darker skin tone, blue eyes and curlier hair. Although I have trust issues with everyone, Vanessa is different, she spoke out to me through the crowd and 5 minutes into dissing each other, I was sure that she was the one I could give the honour of best friend to.

We get along so well because we’re both dark and twisted inside but also because we have the same attitude towards life.
An attitude from which we derive sayings like;
‘People come and go, don’t get too attached’.

But the best of them all is our motto:

‘Live . Laugh . Love’

no wait, cancel the ‘Love’ and replace it with ‘Loathe’.

‘Live . Laugh . Loathe’

there, perfect!

Why loathe?
Well, the fun you get from hating on the same person, together, is just a whole new level of happiness.

I was extremely driven when I got here, had a plan in mind and everything but I slowly realised that things don’t actually go to plan and that nobody gives a shit around here! You don’t attend lectures? Fine, no one's gonna ask why.
You go partying every night? Cool, no one's gonna judge you for being spoilt.

Of course I’ve attended every class so far and aim to continue doing so but I also have my fun on the weekends. And yes I’m a part of study groups and party groups but I prefer doing my assignments alone, early in the morning when I have no classes.

My personality is a mask of innocence on the outside.
But like all masks, mine was hiding the devil inside.
The temptation to try all that was not allowed was strong and I gave in.
I gave into alcohol.
But only in moderations.
I mean it’s only a small sin and my parents aren’t here to stop me, so might as well.
The occasional shot or two of vodka or tequila, a free beer from time to time and my favourite: wine (though it’s scarce and expensive) make my days colourful.

I don’t wear my hijab when I plan on drinking or partying, I don’t want to spoil Islam’s reputation even though I know my friends wouldn’t judge me. But apart from that I pray whenever I can, especially after both my parents rant about ‘not forgetting your religion and all the other values/etiquettes’.
I’m happy that dad hasn’t quit on life after the accident; he’s teaching interns at the hospital since he himself can’t perform surgery.

I too have found a part time job to keep myself busy and to make the most of my experience here.
Plus, I need money to spend on myself and on good food since everything is so much more expensive here in comparison to Mwanza.
Remember when I didn’t have to pay for basic necessities like food, wah good times!
OK I’ll admit it, I miss home, but there’s so much more sin for me to taste, here and I’ll make sure I taste it all.

Muhahahahaha!