Meeting my bed again and melting in the sheets with a bunch of my childhood teddy bears is absolutely my favourite part of the day, it's one of the places where I can peacefully make my blurry thoughts clearer. That day, James was the only thing that occupied my mind. Everything Merissa told me about him was flashing back in my head and I couldn't decide what my next step was. I wasn't ready to keep all that shit to myself, and ignoring him wasn't the best idea either. I had to tell him. I checked my phone and I was surprised, I found messages from Merissa! - AGAIN. I opened them and I found screenshots of her conversation with James, and a picture he sent her of himself. I didn't know what to tell her nor how to react to what she sent me, I couldn't blame her for showing me what happened between the both of them but I was really mad especially after reading that specific line: "I love short girls." I hated the fact that he spoke to my friend the same way he did with me, except that he told me he loved tall girls. The idea that controlled my thoughts then was: I wasn't special to him, I was nothing to him. Nothing but another chick he added to his contact list, another victim of his seductive talk, and it was time to end that game.
A last text message where I can make things clear before I leave was more than just enough, that was what I decided to do. It took me less than 5 minutes to write the paragraph I sent him, I talked in brief about what happened with Merissa, and that all of that didn't mean shit to me 'cause I expected it from the beginning – and of course, I lied. The message was already delivered and I didn't regret anything I said, to me the game was OVER.
I tried to forget about what happened and to focus on my studies instead, it was my last year in high school and I had no time to waste. I attacked a homework I had after I took my dinner, it all took me two long hours but I was glad it kept me distracted for a while. I felt so tired and only a hot shower was my escape, I was – finally – ready to disappear between the sheets. I checked my phone after I got in bed and hugged Zizou – my favourite teddy, I had it since I was 7 years old – there was no answer. I put the phone down and whispered to myself: "It doesn't matter anyway." But deep down I knew it did, I didn't know why but it just did. Maybe 'cause he took my company when I needed it the most, or maybe more than just that. He had something special that I couldn't deny, I couldn't avoid him 'cause I didn't want to but I HAD to. I only realized that I was about to fall asleep when a weird sound disturbed me, DAMN IT! My phone was ringing, it was a call from Him. I hesitated for a while then finally answered.
-"Hello." The rough but smooth voice of his caressed my ear drums.
-"Hey." I replied with a firm tone, I was trying to stay faithful to my decision.
-" I read the message you sent me, what the hell are you saying and where did you get all of that from ?"
-"So let me guess, you talk to too many girls using the same lines and lies that you can't remember which girl you used those lines with, huh ?"
-"Alright first thing is I don't use the same lines with everyone, you can compare them if you want to, and if you don't tell me the name of the girl who told you about me , I won't be able to recognize her. It makes sense."
-"I don't want to tell you for a simple reason: I don't want you to explain anything to me. You don't have to pretend that I matter. So please I was about to sleep, good night." And with a mix of courage and instant regret I ended the call.
I felt sorry that the first call we ever had had to turn out that way, but as I said before I had to do it. I thought that it was it, the end of "us". An "us" that didn't even start to have an end, it didn't make sense at all. I was very surprised at the sight of a message from him on my locked phone screen. "Her name's Merissa, right?"
