Dear My Super Secret Crush (#ToAllTheBoysContest)

Dear Wayne

Dear Wayne,

 I can't help the feelings that erupt inside of me when I see you, it's like a volcano exploding. When our eyes meet my heart thumps loudly, like waves crashing on a shore; as if it's threatening to jump out of my body and into yours. You have been my best friend since I was five years old, you know all of my secrets- except one; you know all of my scars and how I got them. I share the best of my memories with you, most are from when we were young. I remember the day we met as if it had been just a few short hours ago. I remember what you were wearing, and by God, you looked so handsome in your fancy tux. Your emerald eyes shining like the sun on the lake at my summer house. I remember the way you so flawlessly shook me to my core the first time you said, "I love you." Sure, it was the friend way, but it still made tingles in my skin and a jungle in my stomach. Wayne, oh sweet sweet Wayne. Even your name has the same rhythmic beating as my pounding heart. My palms are sweaty just writing this, my tears dripping down on the page. It's been six years since we've seen each other. Six years since you moved out to L.A. for your acting career; six years since the first time I realized that what I feel for you is more than a friend type of love. It's been so long, yet everytime someone says your name my heart jumps, every time I see your picture my eyes sting with tears because then I realize that it's been four years since you married her instead of me. I wonder if you ever told her about what we lost that summer when we tried out being more than friends. Every day, it pains me. It hurts to think of you with her. Yet here I sit still pining over my best friend, my first love, the one who got away. Of course, I will never send this letter because I will not be the girl that ruins a marriage, I will not be the girl that steals the love of someone's life. My therapist suggested writing this letter to you, but never sending it to help me learn to cope with the losses of my life, but she said it would help me to get over the loss we suffered together. Wayne, I'll never forget you, but it's time for me to move on. I love you. You were and are, forever and always, my best friend. I hope you are doing good, and I hope that she makes you as happy as Razzles used to. You will forever be in my heart, Wayne Sebastian, and I hope that Razzles will forever be in both of ours.

Sincerely yours,

Jazmine Nicolette Mirage

P.S. I might just send this letter after all, who knows?