something has changed (I Need A Doctor sequel!) (IRONSTRANGE)

won't let you talk me down

this chapters song : rosyln by bon iver
(trigger warning, this chapter contains mentions of anxiety, and nightmares. read at your own risk or message me for a summary!)
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time changes and grows new habits. it always does. people say it takes about three weeks to create new habits, and for them to really stick you must try. it had become habit for tony to squeeze whatever was on his nightstand at the time when waking up from a bad dream. force of habit, right? it was usually to alert stephen before the two decided to move in together. as soon as he left though, he quickly replaced the pager with a stress ball peter had gifted him. thus creating, a new habit.

and it stuck. like glue. although, it was never easy to go from being comforted to being alone in a dark room, the only source of comfort being the stress ball. sometimes tony worried it might even burst because of how tight he'd grab onto it. nightmares were never easy. never a habit tony wanted to develop, but it seemed to be one of the many he had developed after stephen left.

so it was just a regular night, same nighttime routine, same habits. tony almost mentally prepared himself for what was to come when he inevitably woke up around half past three am, squeezing the life out of that poor stress ball. it was then around two am that his once new, now old, habits would be compromised, when orange sparks flew around his night stand. the stress ball was quickly replaced with the now antiqued pager.

but of course, tony wouldn't notice until he woke up in a cold sweat, half past three am, pressing a button rather than feeling the weird squish of shave cream in his hand. it took about thirty seconds for stephen to step through a portal, already by tony's side as if nothing had changed.

"what are you doing here?" was all that tony could seem to muster out. the nightmare, stephen in his room all of the sudden, his routine being so quickly changed? it was all too much. "you kept the pager?" stephen teased as he sat on the bed next to him. "okay, i actually kept it. i don't know i just, felt bad that this had become something regular since i had gone."

"stephen i," tony sighed. "i don't need you to be here for me like you're my doctor or something." he began to say, anxiously lashing out. "i can take care of myself. i'm a grown man. i have taken care of myself the past two years since you decided you didn't need to be here for me at all." he then picked up the pager in his hands, toying with it before saying, "can i have my stress ball back. uh, peter made it for me for occasions like this so." tony practically whimpered, holding back tears as best he could. he watched as stephen conjured a small portal, grabbing the stress ball and handing it to tony.

"at least keep the pager," stephen began to say. "incase you actually need me, i know i left abruptly for awhile but, i at least want to make things right again." he concluded, meeting tony's eyes before the other mans soft brown eyes looked away.

"i won't let you talk me down this time, stephen." tony said, practically chuckling. he began to remember the first time he experienced a nightmare and accidentally paged stephen. not this time though, not again. at least, that's what tony thought he wanted until he decided to reinstate the eye contact with stephen.

no, not this time. but perhaps next time.

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SHE LIVES
i know it's been so long since i last updated! i'm so sorry! i've genuinely been working full time at my job since the beginning of summer so i've barely had anytime to even think about this story :( ! but i'm hoping to get less hours and back into the swing of things soon. here's this short angsty chapter for now. love you guys and thanks so much for 4k on this!! what even!!!