Something Interesting about Me.

Its weird

It's weird really.. The things I try to convince myself to think.It hurts too. Hurts so much. I miss him, I really do, I don't know what to do anymore. I try to keep myself clean for him but it seems like it's for nothing.

He makes me feel like everything I'm doing for him is a total waste of my time and I don't know what to do.

I sit outside thinking about this over and over again but it's no use. Everything in doing is for nothing. It hurts it really hurts.. Is it even worth it?

Living for him, I've asked myself a million times this question, and every time I don't have an answer.

What's wrong with me?

I stopped letting people in, I can't tell Leon my problems anymore because I don't want him to worry. I love him as well but is busy, he's 20 I doubt he'd care about me anymore, he's just waiting to get rid of me. Waiting for the perfect moment to get rid of me like he did when we were dating.

He used a girl near him as an excuse, it hurt that day, the day he left. Brought me so much pain that I couldn't be happy on New Years.. Leon brought me happiness, he was there when others weren't, that's when I stopped letting my family in.

I can't trust my family, they always abandon, the adults don't listen and the other teens just hang with their friends, the kids are kids, I don't know..

Me? Well I'm different, rather than being in one of those groups, I'm on my own. It's nice being alone sometimes.. I also like talking to people on the internet. It's beautiful meeting new people..

Haha now in just talking nonsense. I'm just crazy, like my mom says. I'm crazy but in a good way I guess. I honestly just want to be left alone. I don't feel like talking to people.. People just scare me now, I don't want to be face to face anymore..

Honestly I also think people give up easily..