Lucky Coincidence // Stuart Twombly

IX

As Lara entered the room, she could hear instantly cheerful chatter. She could also pick up Stuart's voice from miles away.

"Just a question, but is Lyle always going to refer to himself in the third person because if he is, I might want to punch Lyle in the face." She heard her boyfriend grumble. She shook her head slightly before she walked up to them.

"Well, I don't think that will be necessary, right, Lyle?" She placed her hands on her boyfriend's shoulders and gave them a tiny squeeze as she cocked her head to the side. 

"Hey." Stuart's voice instantly softened at her touch and he took one of her hands in his.

"Yeah, sorry, Lyle is still a little nervous- Lyle is a first time manager- Okay, I'm gonna stop now, it's going to be the first and second person from now on," Lyle quickly ranted. He sat down on the edge of a table and folded his arms. "Okay, who's next?"

The Asian boy stood up. "My name is Yo-Yo Santos," He spoke timidly.

"Yo-Yo, how 'bout a high five?" Billy raised his palm but Yo-Yo instantly ducked away.

"Woah, there. Easy, Yo-Yo. I come in peace." Billy raised his hands to ease the boy.

"Yo-Yo, did you get beat up a lot in school?" Nick asked.

"I was homeschooled by my mom," He replied.

"Did you get beat up a lot in homeschool?" Nick corrected himself hesitantly.

"Discipline is a very important part of growth. But my mother was actually a very nurturing person, for example, she provided me with the milk of her bosom until I was seven years old." A short silence fell. Lara felt her jaw drop slightly.

"So, you just tied your shoelaces, climbed a tree and then you were right on Mom," Billy stated, trying to find some kind of confirmation.

"Breastfeeding leads to higher IQ," Yo-Yo nodded.

"Actually, the science is quite definitive on that," Nick spoke up. Stuart's hand left Lara's as he took out his phone. She saw him go to Google. "I was bottle-fed and it never slowed me down. Vitamins are vitamins where they come from a teet or a ba-ba," Nick continued before he turned to Lara. "Right?" 

Her eyes widened slightly. "How would I-" She began to say but Stuart cut her off.

"Wrong," He stated. The team stared at him in silence.

"What was that?" Nick muttered.

"The teet or ba-ba things," Stuart continued. "It's wrong. I just Googled it, so you're wrong." Everyone continued staring at him. "Oh, yeah, I'm Stuart." Lyle offered him a little wave.

Nick sighed. "You know, Stuart, you shouldn't believe everything you read on the-

"The journal by the American Medical Association? I don't know, sounds pretty trustworthy to me. It says here that breastmilk has more nutrients and that those nutrients are more easily digestible and absorbed," Stuart elaborated. "Your confusion is understandable though, you were bottle-fed." 

Nick sighed and turned to Lara. "How can you live with that?" He asked her.

Lara chuckled. "He doesn't know it, but he's a sweetheart," She grinned. She didn't have to see Stuart's face to know that he was rolling his eyes at her. She patted his cheek jokingly.

"Whoa, guys, where is all this hostility coming from?" Billy exclaimed.

"Where do you think, you big tree? Two-sixths of our team is made out of two old guys who don't know shit." Stuart sat forward and leaned his elbows on his knees, never dropping his phone.