***SMUT WARNING: Sort Of ***
There was something very fishy going on in the Amazon jungle so me and Tilly being the adventurous duo that we are needed to come and investigate immediately. Clearing the bush we find ourselves in an open area and there are a dozen rogue sheep running amuk and bleating wildly. Seeing the bizarre acts that are playing out before our eyes I know the only option that we have. We need to call in the...PARTY CLOWNS.
“It’s time to party.” I say, popping the ‘P’ as I gaze into Tilly’s sparkling baby blues.
He searches his pocket fervently until he grasps onto the small electronic and dials a number that he knows by heart. After only one short ring our prayers are answered and a clown with a rainbow wig and painted up face begins climbing his way out of Tilly’s phone, followed closely behind by a secondary clown. This one was much taller and lankier than the first, he had a bright red nose, like rudolph.
The first clown reaches into his baggy trousers and pulls out a full size boom box, turning it on to Pony by Genuwine. Holding it high above his head like they do in the old movies his clown partner begins to vigorously bodyroll around the open expanse. The sheep fear for their safety and are quick to disperse into the thick vegetation.
Thankful for the clown’s services, we start to set up a full Thanksgiving feast upon a large checkered blanket. We will thank them appropriately with a picnic fit for the queens that we rightfully are. Laid upon the vast checkered cloth are many a splendiferous foods, soy sauce, butter, bananas, mint chocolate ice cream and blueberry almonds. Lets not forget the piping hot pizza pie, chicken nuggets for days, every flavor of doritos you can imagine, the world’s largest container of nutella that you have ever laid eyes upon, a ten gallon bucket of ranch, and last but not least a travel size portion of yummy hummus.
Our lavish candle lit banquet rallies on uninterrupted until I leisurely nom on a banana. I look down at Tilly to see him gazing at me longingly with eyes darker than the fur of a black panther.
“Want some of this?” I question before smooshing the banana into his face.
This began Tilly and I’s playful foodfight. I smear the ice cream into his hair where it is camouflaged in his minty locks. He in turn gives my chocolatey mop a treatment of nutella. We are well on our way to becoming the top beauty guru’s of the YouTube world. I could see it already. Our name’s in lights on laptops the world round.
Suddenly I hear the loud sound of trumpets ringing across the treetops. The clowns quickly scramble to their feet and scurry back into the depths of Tilly’s phone. Their antics are needed elsewhere.
Tilly was looking simply delicious, like a banana split and I was craving a sundae. I cling to my (not so) blonde adonis like a koala, my lizard tongue roaming up his neck and he barks his appreciation. As I finish slobbering on him, he rips my clothes off, sending the buttons ping-ponging onto the leafy floor.
Knowing that there is simply not enough room for the troyble we were about to get into, I start to toss the picnic furniture and items away from us making space for the frickle fracking that is bound to take place. Tilly joins me with valiant effort to help rid the area of all the nonsensical objects.
“I can’t get over how I could break you right now” Tilly murmurs as he begins to do press ups above me with all the same enthusiasm as when we threw the furniture around only moments ago. I gaze up at him with my huge lemur eyes, holding a look of admiration that could rival Jennifer Lawrence's when she met Anne Hathaway. Suddenly we collide our lips together, eagerly slurping as we smooch. Tilly tastes of sweet bananas and I swoon with the combination of the fruity taste and the scintillating sensation. Luckily, Tilly’s chiseled arms catch me and he whisks me off my feet.
