Becoming A Queen

Righteous Choices

Derek

I was in the locker room, showering. Practice was hell but I honestly needed something to take my mind off things.

Ever since Jet sat me down with Chief Rodger Wilson of the Chicago Fire Department, things have, we'll say changed.

I didn't know the power of a conversation until I talked with such a brilliant man. He asked about my future, goals I had, what I was envisioning and working towards. I came up blank and that was fucking embarrassing. I mean, I'm at the age where the big questions are being presented. What am I going to do with my life? College? Workforce?

Nothing sucks worse than staring blankly and not being able to conjure something. I haven't been thinking beyond high school honestly. I see what's fucking useless in life and what I don't want involved in mine, sure. But when I think of what I'm going to stride for, the career that calls to me, I cannot think of a damn thing.

With my mother a stripping drug addict who left years ago, an absent father, deceased siblings and being raised by my older sister isn't exactly a recipe for success. I have failure written all over me. Might as well tattoo that word clear across my forehead.

What can I do? What could I ever amount to?

I'm nothing impressive right now. Sure my skills on the soccer field are remarkable but not near pro level. My grades aren't too hot either.

No special talents off the field. Can't sing, play an instrument, or even speak another language. I'm not in any clubs or extracurriculars.

No real interests to join any either.

So what did I tell the Chief?

Straight up truth.

I had no fucking idea where I was heading.

Except maybe hell.

And he then asked why I thought I was damned.

That's when Jet narrowed his eyes and watched my every move closely.

I want about to confess everything Logan and the guys do. I'm not stupid. But being a witness is bad enough. Whether I like it or not, I'm involved. So deep I could serve time. I know for damn sure that's nothing I want to do, not where I want to go.

I simply said I was going to help because it's what I deserved. They didn't push the matter, thankfully.

We stayed there hours, way into the night. After the talk I even hung out with some of the other guys and got to not only know them but come to respect them. They are brave. But also modest. True role models.

They shared their stories. Some righteous, others not so much. And it didn't completely change or mold me, but I'm on a new path. One that doesn't include Logan and the guys.

But it's been a weird couple of days. First of all I've seen nothing of Logan and with the other guys it's like they and I are ignoring and staying out of each others path purposely. Works for me. They're bad news.

But the fact that Penny is staying at Logans has me paranoid. The sudden end of our 'friendship' might push him to do what that bastard does.