Reflection: The Sequel

seventeen

Trigger Warning: some s&m moments

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LAUREN'S POV

24 hours earlier

When the girls left, I had eventually calmed down from the ridiculous temper I had hearing that Y/N and Camila wanted to leave. The same temper that was even more enraged watching them walk out in me. I was still upset and not so easy to forgive. I know that I lost their trust by cheating on them and hurting them, but we were equally to blame for this fight. I shouldn't have tried to scare them at all. Especially after all we've been together even before Y/N's accident. I should've been the one to step up and talk it out. Be the grown adult for once. They just wouldn't let me explain how this all started.

Lucy and I met at a festival and hit it off from there.

The girls didn't want to go to a 'dirty festival'. They knew it was more about me listening to live music high than it was for them to jam out to their favorite artists. So, I took Dinah. By the tine the third artist came out to play, Dinah was going to some hot rich guy's tent. I remained in the VIP area so she could find me when she came back. That's where we met.
Lucy had been eyeing me up and down even when Dinah was right beside me. I did my best not to keep glancing. Usually that's the signal to show someone you're really into them. I didn't want to bother hurting my girls. We were happy. Most of the time. And I can admit that the offer was very tempting. I kept my distance and listened to the music while pretending not to notice her. That didn't last long, though. Lucy had strutted up to me with a cup in her hand and this really dominate stare. Normally, I wouldn't like that type of energy because that's what I put off into the atmosphere. It's more of a challenge and I already have enough challenges of my own.

She grabbed my hand and turned to press her ass into me and dance against my body. I had fun for the most part and was close to pushing her away after about thirty seconds, but as the beat broke down, she began grinding into me perfectly. In a way that I wasn't used to. Lucy was aggressive from the start. The feverish attitude she had made me hunger for a second with her. Before I knew it, my hands were all over her.

We barely even spoke the first time. She took me to her tent after that one song, and we had this animalistic sex. Making sure she never marked me in the fear that my girlfriend's would see it when I got home the next day.

It was spontaneous with her and most of the time more demanding. Lucy liked when I hurt her. Especially during sex. She knew I had problems, but was willing to work on them with me. Maybe in the least healthy way possible, but it worked. For a while.

The cheating really started up during the end of our recovery when there would be times where Y/N and Camila would gang up on me, and I'd have to leave for the good of the relationship. But the cabin was no longer a safe place for me anymore. It was more of a trigger to my PTSD. I keep thinking to myself that if I would've even just talked to them right there about how I felt then maybe everything would've changed. Maybe it would've been easier to tell them I made a mistake. So, now I was running from the problem. And by doing that I was running head on into someone else's arms.

Lucy wasn't afraid of me. In fact, Lucy wanted me to punish and hurt her. People in the past that she had been with were always too afraid to hurt her in the fears that she would break or bruise enough that her family would notice and take action. In the end, the men and women she dated were always kind of freaked out about how much she wanted the pain. When it began, I didn't care about her at all and hurting her was an easy way for me to get my emotions out. 

The reason for leaving was simple; I was mad because Camila found pictures on my phone that I saved from tumblr. Granted, they were of tits, but they looked really artsy so I saved them. When she saw them, she threw my phone across the bedroom out of jealousy and it shattered once it hit the concrete wall. Without yelling or overreacting, I picked up my shoes, and keys before leaving the house.