Oregairu 12.5

Prologue - Hachiman's choice

Slipping my phone precariously into my jeans pocket as I unconsciously broke into a sprint, the biting wind carried the distant wailing of a heartbroken female from a universe not too dissimilar to our own. Gritting my teeth I tried to remember when determination had started to feel so natural, however determination towards what goal? What exactly was I trying to achieve? 

"I promised I'd save her one day." Chuckling ironically to myself as I momentarily paused at a pedestrian crossing before scurrying onward.

Hiratsuka Sensei believed I could break through Yukinoshita's shell however completely unbeknownst to us, both Yuigahama and Yukinoshita's kindness coupled with their forthright attitude had completely eroded the protective barrier I religiously adhered towards. I had betrayed my self proclaimed "loner ideals" but to what end I wondered? Bursting through the school gates the school's traditionalist slogan loomed auspiciously infront of me, sprawled majestically just above the door, "Hard work will never betray you, only a lack of Ambition."

My trembling hand caressed the door handle as I hesitated and then nervously withdrew.

"Having second thoughts Hikigaya-kun?" Those disgustingly confident yet sternly spoken words could only belong to one person. Slowly turning around, the lean figure of Hayato Hayama proudly stood cross armed directly in front of me.

"Won't your clique be worried about your where abouts Hayama?" Perhaps in another life Hikigaya Hachiman and Hayama Hayato were close friends, however the clash of methodologies proved too large a gap to narrow as two unflinching opposites glared towards one another.

"Refresh my memory Hikigaya-kun but didn't Yukino-san explicitly demand you stay away tonight?" Clearly neither party was prepared to provide a straigh tanswer, however tonight left little margin for error in what I felt could possibly herald towards our climactic end.

"Hayama do you care about Yukinoshita?"

"Yukinoshita-san has been a sister to me for as far back as I can recall."

"Then stay the hell out of my way!" Determinedly turning back towards the school door, my heart rate returned to normal as my nerves completely evaporated into nothingness. Leaning down firmly on the handle I began my steadfast walk towards an uncertain future.

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The dimly lit deserted corridors that usually felt warm and secure today felt oddly distant, as if the building was readying itself for our impending departure. Arriving at my destination, I gently wiped my palm across the lovingly written sign noted "Service Club". Fond memories of Yuigahama Yui's joyous face flooded into my mind as I remembered how hard she worked towards its procurement. However a loud wail of frustration interrupted my thoughts as I resolutely discarded my anxieties and proceeded inside.

Yukino Yukinoshita sat intimidatingly on her usual chair staring icily towards me. Gulping under her silent watchful stare, I ambled towards my usual seat and quietly sat down. My hands trembled as beads of sweat profusely dripped down the back of my neck, furthermore my vocal cords seemed to have lost the ability to function.

"Hikigaya-kun I thought I told you........"

"I can't!!!"

"Hikigaya what are you........."

"Just STOP!" Clenching my fists I threw caution to the wind, preventing Yukinoshita from finishing her sentence I bellowed my reply as Yukinoshita retracted in silent fear. Taking deep breaths to try to relax the flow of adrenaline currently circulating through my veins, I stared pleadingly towards Yukinoshita as a wealth of emotions flooded within me.

"You asked me............You asked me to save you some day............So let me.....Let me help you..........Please Yukino!" Yukinoshita'sability to quickly compose herself was almost robotic, the shift in demeanour as well as her tone of voice from frightened to authoritative could only be accomplished by the awe-inspiring specimen currently sat across the table from myself.

"Why?" My ears perked as my gaze shifted towards Yukinoshita's assertive glare.

"What do you mean why....?" Within a split second our roles had reversed and just like on so many previous occasions, Yukinoshita had easily managed to reassert control.

"Why do you want to help me? And don't use such a tired excuse that I asked for your help, you're above that Hikigaya-kun." Haruno wasn't scared to highlight her disgust in regards to our current predicament, however conjecture based upon emotions remained a path untrodden for myself and Yukinoshita Yukino.

I stared longingly towards the door, hoping with every fibre of my being any sentient life-form would enter and thereby prevent me from formulating a response. Sadly wishes built upon falsehood are generally rightfully ignored, as Yukinoshita's darkening features highlighted her increased agitation from my lack of response. Unable to stall further I decided to speak.

"Because I finally have something to protect." Yukinoshita's facial features remained unperturbed as she probed further.

"And what might that be Hikigaya-kun?" Staring unapologetically directly into Yukinoshita's eyes I responded:                  "You."

Perhaps this is what'sknown as "emotional progression," whereby the extensive influence of particular events mould those involved to react in a particular fashion. Myself and Yukino have had countless discussions and disagreements, however those discussions were tainted via an underlying deceit, one I believed was necessary for both our survival. Subsequently duplicity was no longer an option as I tensely awaited Yukinoshita's incoming response.

Yukinoshita didn'treply, instead enclosing her hands across her angelic face. Suddenly Yukinoshita's body rhythmically resonated as her heartbroken pangs of anguish enveloped our surroundings.

Though taken aback my unyielding determination forced me into action; Carefully walking towards Yukinoshita I placed my arms tenderly around her shoulders as she responded in kind. Wrapping her arms around my waist Yukinoshita wistfully cried into my shirt for what seemed an eternity.

Hiratsuka sensei I guess you won: My egotistical self-preservationist attitude prevented me from seeing your plan. Wiping away tears currently forming beneath my eyes I momentarily smiled to myself, Yukinoshita Yukino was only ever half your goal..............The other half was me all along.

Photo posted by handofbutt on reddit (credit goes to the original creator)