Melanie the Vampire Slayer

Movie

Sad Drecksdepp

A Screenplay by Actoria Factories

INT. LIVING ROOM - AFTERNOON

Sexy as chili Official wig snatcher MELANIE PARK-ING MILF is arguing with nerdy Unicorn smasher PAULINE THE SAUSAGE. PARK-ING tries to hug THE but he shakes her off.

PARK-ING
Please The, don't leave me.

THE
I'm sorry Park-ing, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces her fears head on, instead of running away.

PARK-ING
I am such a person!

THE frowns.

THE
I'm sorry, Park-ing. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.

THE leaves.

PARK-ING sits down, looking defeated.

Moments later, acne having Hypocrite ALKOHOLISCHE AKUOL BUNNY OLOL barges in looking flustered.

PARK-ING
Goodness, Bunny! Is everything okay?

BUNNY
I'm afraid not.

PARK-ING
What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...

BUNNY
It's ... a Drecksdepp ... I saw an evil Drecksdepp eat out a bunch of Grafen von Somun!

PARK-ING
Defenseless Grafen von Somun?

BUNNY
Yes, defenseless Grafen von Somun!

PARK-ING
Bloomin' heck, Bunny! We've got to do something.

BUNNY
I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.

PARK-ING
You can start by telling me where this happened.

BUNNY
I was...

BUNNY fans herself and begins to wheeze.

PARK-ING
Focus Bunny, focus! Where did it happen?

BUNNY
Hallway! That's right - Hallway!

PARK-ING springs up and begins to run.

EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS

PARK-ING rushes along the street, followed by BUNNY. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.

INT. HALLWAY - SHORTLY AFTER

VICTOR VICY a sad Drecksdepp terrorises two Grafen von Somun.

PARK-ING, closely followed by BUNNY, rushes towards VICTOR, but suddenly stops in her tracks.

BUNNY
What is is? What's the matter?

PARK-ING
That's not just any old Drecksdepp, that's Victor Vicy!

BUNNY
Who's Victor Vicy?

PARK-ING
Who's Victor Vicy? Who's Victor Vicy?Only the most sad Drecksdepp in the universe!

BUNNY
Blinkin' knickers, Park-ing! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most sad Drecksdepp in the universe!