Silence

Chapter 5

A/N sorry I haven't updated for so long.. so sorry but I promise to update regularly.

I've been busy writting my new story The pictures we paint please check it out and tell me what you think...

Recap:
Seola runs out the house after a fight with her mum, the guys find her and offer to give her a ride, she relent but somehow thinks they're kidnapping her. She attacked them and Daniel gets hurt and needs an ice cap. They stop at the shop and buy loads of food then sit on the the pavement and ask Seola if she could be their freind and come to a family dance with them...she agrees...

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People can't be trusted.

That's one thing I've learnt throughout the years, no matter how close you think you are to someone or how well you think you know them, they'll turn around and do something that'll make you question whether you really ever knew them at all.

My mother had a ring on her finger that morning, a silver, gleaming band encrusted with tiny diamonds. It wasn't the ring my father had given her almost 20 years prior. It was a new one. Brand new. Given to her from another lover.

Bile crept up my throat as I stared at it, aghast. Sitting across her on the kitchen table, I could barely process what I was seeing.

"How could you," I croaked in disbelief, icy coldness sweeping into my heart. She glanced up, confusion painted on her face, her eyes following my line of sight. Then blushing deeply, stammering. So unashamed.

"Justin gave it to me." She refused to met my eyes, her hair falling covering a side of her face.

I clench my fork tightly, my knuckles turning white.

"You...you-" I could feel anger pulsing through me, urging me to slap that face of hers. That selfish, ugly face of hers.

"He asked me to marry him," she breathed slowly out her mouth, "Justin asked me to marry him and I said yes."

"No," I shook my head frantically trying to rid my mind of the words I just heard." No, no you can't, you..you-"

"But I did," she smiled tightly " I said yes, we're having the wedding next month, I deserve this Seola, it's been so long. I cant-"

I didn't hear hear rest. Jumping out my seat, my bag banging against my hip, I wrenched the door open, ignoring my mother's calls.

The cool morning air greeted my face like an old freind, rubbing the snarl from my face. I took deep breaths, leting it calm my soul.

Engaged. A wedding. A month.

Those thoughts were running round my mind causing disruption and chaos, plaguing me with dark thoughts. Draging me to the darkness that I tried so hard to run away from.

God please no.

I leant against a lamppost to catch my breath, tears cascading down the nose I've always hated.

My phone buzzed, I pulled it out. "Hello."

"Seola? Hey!" Arion says voice rang out.

"Oh, hey. What's up?" I replace my heart broken voice with a cheerful one with the air of someone with plenty of experience.

"Ready for today, you nervous?"

"Nah, its calm, meet you in a couple of minutes, okay,"

"Sure, be quick," he hung up and I was left on my own again. Like I always am.

It was bitterly cold outside as I stood impatiently, waiting for lathanul, Arion and Denzel to come out.

I began to tap my feet to get blood circulating in my body. My breathing came out in misty, grey puffs that I found alluring.

The rising sun smouldered in the horizon mists as I leant against lathanul's car my patience running thin.

Just as I thought of calling them again a group of girls came rushed out laughing and chatting wildly. I watched with a detached smile.

A cold smile.

It wasn't fair.

"Hey Seola, you okay?" Andy asked me, munching on a bare of chocolate. They materialised silently behind me.

I shook my head quickly and looked away. " I'm fine, I'm fine."

They share confused glances but I ignored them, watching cars zoom by behind us.

"You ready for this Seola? I mean you don't have to do it if you don't what to, heck you can stay at home if you like, I-"

"Nah, its fine, just a formal, rich white people's party, right?" I cut him off, muttering under my breath.

They look uncomfortable when I say that, I feel anger rising up in my chest. Why do I feel this white hot steam burning through me, Poisoning my mind with black thought.

"You sure your okay?" Andy asks me again.

"I'm fine," I hiss at him, anger flaring up in me like a sinister serpent urging to be broke free from it harness. "God just back off will you, you don't even know me."

Hurt flashes across his face as he shared quick glances with the others.

"What's wrong guys, scared I'll embarrass you in front of your parents?" I taunt them, bitterly looking away. They had it easy.

So. Freaking. Easy.

"Seola, did something happen?" Denzel cocky smirk was gone replaced with a furrowed frown.

"Happen? Did something happen?" I raise my eyebrows impulsively " Oh no, my life's completely perfect. No, no nothing happen, nothing, nothing at all. I mean, what could possibly happen to me except my life continuing being nothing but perfect."

I gulp back tears, my eyes burning. I look away from them. "Lets just go."

They share a glance but I ignore them, ducking into the car.

I stare out the window blinking back tears my lips twisted into a thin line, lips shaking ever so slightly.

I can do this. I know I can.

But I can't. I know I can't.

....

I stand in front of the mirror in the dressing room in a clothes store staring at the dress Denzel and Arion picked for me.

I'm fat. I've known this for so long and have since given up trying to change it. The point seems hazy and far off, gazing down at myself I bit my lip and shake my head sadly.

My belly sticks out unflatteringly, protruding hideously out of the red dress I have forced myself to squeeze into. My large thighs pressed together so tight it's a miracle that I can even walk at all.

I pull it off me angrily and throw it on the bench beside me, I catch sight of myself in the dressing rooms mirror, I see my plain face staring back, my stretch marks blazes like fiery streaks down my abdominal area. I run my fingers lightly across them, tears falling softly from my eyes.

"Seola, you done in there?" Arion voices calls from behind the door.

I frantically wrap my arms around my gross body, hiding it from prying eyes before realising no one is in the room with me and the doors locked.

"Y-yeah..I almost done, won't be a sec." I call back leveling my voice to a calm and collected tone, whilst tears drip pathetically down my face.

Time for a party.