"Hahaha! That was a good one?" I laughed heartily at his another joke. I wiped the tear it made for me. He really has a good sense of humor.
Him being comic everytime we're together are very valuable for me. I'm sure he also thinks the same way.
He adjusted the sheets covering his old body and coughed a dry one. Seeing him does that, I put a hand on his back and gave him a light tap.
"Thank you, Oli. I appreciate that." he said to me then he licked his lips.
"It's been a couple of months, isn't it?" I asked. I glanced at the window, the weather's kinda fine today.
"Yes, it's been a while since the last time we laughed together at our corny jokes." he replied.
I smiled faintly as a response to his wry smile and said,
"I'm sorry for not visiting you. Too busy with work, and life."
"I understand that. We're all busy with our own lives."
"Something's missing right there, old man. I thought you'd flip with your philosophy-mode on when you heard me said that."
"Hmm, I'm not done yet, I'm just looking for the right words to deliver just for you."
I closed my eyes and smiled when I heard that. If it was during our days together, I'm sure he'll reply me with something deep and meaningful fast. But with his age and condition now, it's inevitable.
"Say, do you still think the same way?"
I paused at what he said.
"Did I hit it too close? Sorry about that."
"No, no, it's fine. It's just.... you're right." I said.
He still remembers what I said to him in the past. That's something that the flow can't even take away from him, huh?
I stared at him, he's been looking at me with his pale blue eyes with a glint like diamonds. He smiled, waiting for what I'm going to say.
I finally gathered the courage to tell him.
"With what's happening, or about to happen, I think the world still sucks."
He snorted, then he said,
"Out of all my students, you're the pessimist, but I like you for that. You had this.... strength to tell others that the world sucks, according to your perspective. I tried to change that, but that's something I deeply regretted, changing your color won't do any good to what you really are. If you are like that, you are that. That's what the summation of your humanity."
"That's a new one." is the only thing that I replied.
I stared at the clock, which hands doesn't turn around anymore, but I know it's near. I couldn't hold back anymore.
"You know, ever since the day we became friends, the day you called for me when I'm sitting alone in the back, being the usual wallflower myself, the eight-ball, it's the happiest. I'm so glad that you became my teacher, and my dearest friend." I said, and the tears starts pouring. It's not a bad weather, right? I saw a tear rolled down his wrinkled cheek, something that stabbed my heart. He immediately wiped it. But I'm not done yet.
"The time we spent, I will always cherish it. All the jokes you gave me, no matter how cringy it was, I will remember it. And...."
It suddenly feels that everything was suspended. Time stops. He didn't utter a single word, my old friend hang his head low.
"I want to become like you when I get old."
That's the last thing I wanted to say.
He looked up at me, with a refreshing smile that can calm a gloomy heart. This guy doesn't want me seeing him shedding a teardrop. But I'm already prepared for this.
Did I?
"No, don't be like me."
"....Why?"
"Because if you want to become like me, that means you never wanted to be yourself."
"...."
"Love yourself. I don't want you to become like me, but I want you to be yourself. That's my last wish, understand?"
"Yes."
He smiled again and hugged me. I hugged him back tightly, and he smelled like soap.
"I will miss you. Till next time." he said, and I finally saw the tears coming from his diamond eyes. I'm going to cry for a whole day after this. I clicked my tongue and embraced him for one last time before I left his room, alone with his deathbed.
