I fell on my face today
It wasn't the alcohol it was the sadness
I have a face that has forgotten to smile
And a white teeth now brown with cigarettes
I have a heart that only pumps blood
And oxygen that keeps this monster alive
I have forgotten what roses signify
Maybe the cigarette smoke clouds my judgement
I know pain better than anyone
But I don't understand the need to speak about it
Why do people speak of pain like they're in a relationship with it
I only speak of it like I would speak of nothing
Only the broken understand depression
It's not the need to come out
It's the need to climb deeper
Deeper till the need to go deep doesn't exist all
You're my sadness, that's the only thing that keeps me happy
The only thing that makes sense
Without you I'll be empty
Like a page from a manuscript empty of the words I'll like to write
So when I writhe in emotional pain
And my eyes erupt with tears from the tremors in my mind
I hope you'll forgive me for getting too soft
I hope you wouldn't press the iron against my chest while it's still hot
Just know a little sadness as a result of you is all I know
All the love I read about is made true by this pain from you
Leaving me wouldn't cure me of you
It would only make me empty the way I know I'll be
And I'll try to scream with my emptiness
I would make the loudest noise
In silence, of course
In silence, there's no use for spreading unhappiness that should be personal
A between me and you story
The story I don't need writing or telling
It's only a story that needs feeling
So when I rot in this audible silence
I hope that you decompose with me
Like a keynote and a pianist whose performance gives way to rapturous clapping
The kind that wants to keep the curtains open for a little while longer
I hope you understand when I say I need this sadness
It's the only real thing I got from you
I need this pain, it's the only real thing I got from you
My heart breaks but not as broken as my nose from the fall
It wasn't the alcohol, it was sadness.
