If I wasn't scared.(AxA & GxG)

If I wasn't scared.

                             Myras p.o.v.

Oh god, I thought, I have to go today. I shivered just thinking about it. I had to leave the safety of my own home, if you could call it safe. It's not like I a terrible home. I had a lovely home, and a lovely family. No, it was all my head. My own head was scary sometimes. Well anyway, I have to leave the house, for the first time in months, to go to the doctors.

Now to you, this might not seem like such a horrible thing. In fact just a year ago I would have loved to leave the house, even if it was for an appointment. Had you told me then that I would be terrified to do anything now, I would not have beleived you.

“Are you ready?" My mom asks me. I could feel my heart rate immediately speed up. No.no.you.are.fine. I told myself. You are ok. I took a deep breath, to calm myself. Not that it helped at all. “y-yes" I stuttered in response to my mom. I started to walk out the door, stumbling slightly.

I walked over to our small, black, four door, cobalt, and got in the passengers side. In an attempt to calm my very quickly rocketing nerves, I put in my headphones and blasted music. For the entire twenty five minute ride my head was filled with my chemical romance, of mice and men, all time low, and pierce the veil. We pulled up with a finishing line of darling you'll be ok, ending the song. Even that, surprisingly, didn't calm my high nerves.

My mom was tapping me on the shoulder, yelling in an attempt to be louder than my music.“WE ARE HERE MYRA" she shouted at me. I attempted to swallow, but only choked on my very dry throat. I took another deep breath, and walked into the doctors office and signed in.

I went and sat down on those uncomforitable waiting room chairs. Damn things. They make me so uncomfortable. Cold and blue and sad and sick. Thats whats in those chairs. I noticed my leg started bobbing up and down nervously and frantically.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap tap tap tap tap. Taptaptaptaptaptap. My foot was going faster, my heel hitting the white tile floor. Dammit. I thought, not now. Breathe breathe. I told myself. A few minutes later, I was called into the back to get checked out. When we got there, I awkwardly sat on the green bed/table thingy. I immedeatly stared down at my knee high black combat boots. I started fidgeting and playing with the laces. When the nurses and doctor came in, I didn't talk, and just hid behind my hair.

After about twenty minutes of waiting, she came back into the room. “so uh myra.."my doctor said tentatively. “you have a very severe case of an anxiety disorder. Thats what you have been feeling lately. You will need to go to therapy, a physiologist, and a speech therapist."she explained. I looked up quickly. My finally calming heart started beating quickly again.

Before anyone could see the fear in my eyes, I ducked back down behind my hair, and looked at the floor. She pulled my mother out to speak for ten minutes. When she walked back in, I saw she had a bottle of pills in her hand. Great. I thought, more pills. But I pretended not to notice. Ugh. I walked out of the building and accidentally ran into someone, as I was still looking at the ground.

I looked up, from behind my bangs, to say sorry, but I felt the air hitch in my throat. I quickly closed my mouth, hoping he didn't think I was a fool. I noticed he was staring at me. He was average hight, about my age, tan, thin and wearing a bright blue sweatshirt. The hoodie hardly covered his short, dark brown hair. I quickly looked back down. But his eyes. I thought. They were so.....bright. I quickly walked off, so he couldn't tell I was starting to freak.

Getting into our car, I immediately started to feel horrible, remembering that I never apologized. Ugh. Good going myra. Idiot. I told myself. I sat in the car, dreading the next month.