My Blind Love For The Alpha

one

She used to rule the world. Oh. Can't believe she's become a shell of herself. 'Cause she used to be a pearl ≈ Pearl, Katy Perry

Being edited xx

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Darkness, like being stuck in a cave with no exit in sight. Like when you wake up in the middle of the night and open your eyes but nothing changes because the room is pitch black. Like when someone places a blindfold over your eyes. That's how it feels every day, every night and every moment of my life.

I wasn't born blind, an accident five years ago destroyed my eyesight and my family. Not only did I have to grieve my eyesight but also the loss of both my parents. Adjusting to life with darkness consuming me and a family that was falling apart at the seams.

My older brother, Drew, has been the glue that held us all together. As the oldest it was his responsibility to take care of the rest of us, he became our guardian when the rest of the family weren't able to take us in.

The adjustment from life with 20/20 vision to being blind was brutal. Even walking became a challenge. My stubbornness didn't help. I was grieving the loss of my mum and dad and refused to be seen as disabled. I refused to use a cane, I didn't want a guide dog and I hated going to see doctors. It got easier over time but I still have a long way to go.

Jasmine has my arm in her grasp as we walk through the hallway, the school buzzing with an excitement it didn't have yesterday. We walk together in silence to Jaz's locker, her leading me with each step.

"Hey you two, long time no see."

"Hey Stace," I say to my best friend who I know is now walking on the other side of me. My sister on one side guiding me and my best friend on the other.

Stacy was my best friend long before I lost my eyesight. We grew up together in our old neighbourhood and she was around before the accident, during the accident and has stuck by me after the accident as well.

We moved after the accident to get away from our childhood home and Stacey moved with us. She lives with her Uncle just down the street from us and sometimes stays at our house with us.

We stop walking and I listen as Jaz opens her locker and grabs some things out of there.

"Hey Gemma." I heard a male voice say. I turned towards it and waved, slightly self-conscious about what direction he was standing in.

"Hey Brody." I greeted nonchalantly.

Brody was Jasmine's boyfriend of two and a half years. He moved here a year after we did and they've been together ever since. It was love at first sight apparently, something I'll never witness.

It's too early for this pity party.

Brody, Jaz and Stacy all start a conversation that doesn't interest me, but what does is the pair of eyes I can feel staring at me from across the hall. It isn't unusual for me to feel people staring at me, but this was different. I could physically feel this person looking at me as though they were an extension of myself.

Out of instinct I close my eyes tightly and open them again, trying to make my eyes see. I'm met with darkness.

Before I can think about it too much Jaz is grabbing my arm again and we're walking to our first class.

School isn't something I'm interested in but it's something I still try to attend. I want to feel normal, I want to be normal. Going to a school for the vision impaired wasn't an option for me, I needed to be surrounded by my family and friends. So this is how it is every day, I'm led around the school and sit silently in class before being led to the next room and sitting there silently again. We get some text books in braille but sometimes they aren't available, so I just have to try and follow along.