"Why would you do that to me?" The leather whip cracks against my bare ass. I squeeze my eyes shut as pain Shoots through me. "Joanna, why would you do that to me?"
Three more lashes against my ass. His big hand reaches between my thighs and glides...
All alone it was always there you see And even on my own It was always standing next to me I can see it coming from the edge of the room Creeping in the streetlight holding my hand in the pale gloom Can you see it coming now? • • •
Joey's POV
Postpartum depression, or PPD, is a serious matter, but Callum doesn't get that. I have been suffering for about six months and oh-so-wise Callum thought it was a good fucking idea to fucking move to fucking Texas. He kept the house in Cali, though.
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We moved to a vineyard he owns on the outside of Athens. It's beautiful and quiet here. I love it... it helps with my PPD. Strolling through the rows of grapes, the fresh smell engulfing me, the sunrays warming my skin, and the chill breeze an invinting contrast. Ryan and Baby like their new school. I'm really glad about that. I was worried they'd struggle fitting in in a whole new school, starting anew. Apparently, they don't have to deal with stuck up rich snobby kids. Their happiness makes me content.
Caleb is a sweet baby and doesn't fuss as much as Ryan did. He's not hard to deal with, but I don't feel the way I should towards Ryan and Caleb. I'm supposed to be a loving caring mother, but I can't. I don't feel anything at all. Instead, all I do the whole day is lay in bed or make sure Caleb is fine. I rarely eat and all I think about is offing myself and giving them a better life without me. Callum doesn't know how I feel deep inside. And to make matters worse, I don't think he even cares in the first place, for all he does is work and sleep, occasionally eat, and the cycle repeats itself.
All of the house work gets done by me and I cook as well. I'm so tired of it, so completely exhausted. I'm tired of everything.
"Joey, can you go get Ryan and Baby from school, then drive them to practice?" I roll over and look at Callum as he stands in the doorway of our room. "If not, that's okay... I can get Jade to go pick them up."
Jade is our live in nanny, I guess you could say. "I'll go..." I climb out of bed and walk into the bathroom.
I brush my teeth and put on deodorant. I leave the bathroom and grab my phone off the dresser. Callum clears his throat and I look at him.
"You're going like that?" He points at my outfit. Baggy PINK sweatpants and a baggy PINK sweater. My hair is in terrible shape. A very messy bun. I didn't even bother with brushing it. "You can't go like that."
"And why not?" I cross my arms over my chest and stare at him.
"Because you look like a slob!" I roll my eyes and push him out the way. I go get Caleb out of his room and go downstairs. "Joey, don't you dare fucking leave this house like that or so help me God, you will fucking regret it."
I grab my keys and walk out. I put Caleb in the car seat and drive off to the school. I stand outside of the car as Ryan and Baby run to me. I open the door and Baby climbs in. I close the door, walk Ryan around to the other side, and put her in.
They both fasten their seatbelts as I get in the driver's seat, turn on the ignition and head back home. They get changed into their practice uniform, and we start to leave again when Jade approaches us with a small smile.
"Ma'am, Mister Reed, wants me to take them to practice." I just nod. There's no need to fight with him. I'm too tired for it, I don't even care anymore.
The kids and Jade leave. Caleb and I walk to Callum's office and walk in. He looks up at us and smiles at Caleb.
Caleb and I sit in one of the chairs and look at him. "Look, I'm sorry for earlier. I overreacted and I didn't mean to. I know you're going through some stuff and if you want we can get you help."
"Why are you being so nice now? I've been suffering for six months, and you care now?" I stare at him as I hold back a waterfall of tears. "You know how many nights I've stayed up and thought about killing myself and almost went through with it?! Can you imagine how hard even getting out of bed has been for me?" My lip quiver as I try to hold back the tears.
"Calm down, babe. I'm really sorry." I stand up and walk to the door. I slightly turn around when I hear his voice again. "Joey, pack a bag. You're going to rehab to get your mind right. And when you come back, I will show you the love you're missing, my dear."
I wasn't going to argue with him about going off to rehab because I need it. There's no denying that. I packed my bag and went to the living room. Callum walks in and sits beside me with Caleb in his arms.
"You're going to one about an hour away and I will bring the kids to see you when it's time. I need you to get better, babe." A nod is all I manage to give him in response. "I moved us out here because I wanted a fresh start from our life in LA and all my fuck ups. This was going to be our fresh start, but you're suffering more than ever. I'm so deeply sorry for being a dick and not helping you from the start. But I will be doing it now before it's too late to do anything. I don't even want to think about the probability of losing you." I feel my eyes water again at the mention of leaving my kids forever. No, that's not even an option. I will get better. I will get back to my babies.
Callum kisses my forehead and stands up. "Let's get you going before the kids get back."
