Dancing on heartbreak

Dancing on heartbreak - 3

*** Fee free to correct any typos and mishaps in grammar ;) ***

My heart breaks when the doors of the plane slowly open. I see how others move forward, how their loved ones fall in to their arms and hold tight, just like I did that first night. The nice lady cries when her husband kisses her graying hair, pulls on his blue beret and rubs his eyes with the sleeve of his uniform. She holds him like she never wants to let him go. And now, she doesn't have to.

And I just wait. Because I know Sam will be the last one. And I wait, until I see the casket on the bier, being transported by six pallbearers. And in that moment, my heart just stops because I know that this endless, breathless, agonizing moment is my reality.

Then I see him. Sam's walking behind the casket. His frame's bent, as if carrying the weight of the world and all it's suffering in the duffle bag around his shoulder. My G.I. returning from his peace mission. The love of my life returns home to me. The one I want to spend my whole life dancing with every Christmas, even if it is to just forget about all the sadness and heartache. As if, by dancing, we could make this cruel, cruel world just a little bit better for just a little while.

When I look in to his blue eyes and see the terrible truth that has taken root there, my heart breaks all over again. I see the emptiness. The loss of his best friend, who died saving others. A roadside bomb, just two days before Christmas.

I start running, just running, as fast as I can, wanting nothing more than to put my arms around him, hold him, feel him laugh and cry against me. Just like I do against him.

'Tomorrow, I have to...' he starts but I don't want to hear it. Not yet. I don't want to think about saying goodbye forever, I just want to believe in the magic of Christmas just one last time. To believe in a world where everything is covered in a white blanket of innocence, where there's no sadness, no loss, no war...just for a little while. Just for one more dance.

"Shhh," I whisper softly against his chest, not quite having the courage to look up and see the despair. "Not tomorrow. Tonight. Tonight, I just want to have one more dance. If tomorrow has to be about loss, then tonight I need it to be about love."

*** THE END ***