Not my choice

chapter 2

I am laying on my bed, I have 1D as loud as it will go on my ipod. I am trying to make out the faces of my favorite bands that hang on my walls. This is kind of hard to do through tears, and eventually I give up, because I am giving myself a headache. I am counting down the minutes before my Mom comes up knocking on my door. I know she will be the one who comes. My Dad doesn't do well with tears.

5..4..3..2..1.."Knock, knock... Rainee?? May I come in?", my mom peeks her head thru my door. Like knocking really means she asking permission. It's her two second warning that she's about to enter.

"Like you care if I say no? You don't care AT ALL about how I feel!" ,I snap back at her. "If you cared- you and Dad wouldn't be getting a divorce! If you cared- you would have known to ask HOW MY DAY was- and known that before you guys RUINED it- it would have been the best day ever!!"

"Rainee, sweetie.. I am so sorry. I don't even know where to begin."

Then she cries. OMG! My Mom is sitting on my bed, hanging her head and crying. I am 13 years old. How am I supposed to deal with this? I can't remember ever seeing my Mom cry. Not like this. Yeah- she cries at dumb movies, and weird hallmark comercials.. and especially that one coffee comercial they show at Christmas time- but to really cry? I am not equipped for this.

"It's ok, Mom. Stop crying. I am sorry I was being a brat earlier..I am just upset-ok? Don't cry, please?" Now I am starting to worry big time, because she is sobbing like I was only minutes ago. I get up from my bed and grab her some tissues, and get down on my knees and lay my head in her lap like I used to when I was young. Oh- what I would give to be little again- when she could make it all better with just a hug.

"What happened, Mom? What's going to happen to us? To me, to Baylor? Where are we going to live? What about Dad? Why do you guys have to do this?" I just blurt everything out as fast as it crosses my mind. I am so scared.

"Sweetie- you know we love you. This has nothing to do with you or your brother. This has to do with your Dad and I. Sometimes people grow apart. It just happens. And in order for them to be happy- they need to move on in different directions in their lives. I know it's not fair. But in the long run- everyone will be better off for it." She said, and by this point she sounds like a duck with a cold.

"Better off??? How can you say that? You look real happy right now!! So what- you guys argue sometimes. You tell me anyone who lives together is going to argue. You also tell me that Baylor and I need to learn to get along! How come you and Dad can't just learn to get along? You want to ruin my life for the long run- when you have no clue what is in store for the long run? This isn't fair, Mom!!

My Mother looked at me with sad eyes, a red and swollen nose. I have never seen her this way, and my heart just broke." I know, Rainee. I know. I am so sorry. I love you baby girl. And I hope one day when you are grown- you can forgive us."

The dam that held back the tears then broke. "Just go ,Mom. And don't bother sending Dad up. He actually waits for an invitation in- and I won't be giving him one tonight."

And she walked out quietly. I cried til I thought I could cry no more. There was NO WAY I was going to school tomorrow. I may not have a choice about their stupid divorce- but they would have to drag me kicking and screaming before I showed up at school with the knowledge I was another statistic.. 50% of all marriages end in divorce, Children of parents who get divorced are more likely to get divorced.. blah,blah,blah.. whatever.