Dark Times

Getting Better

I sat up quickly as I awoke with a start. My hand went to my sword, but I stopped,realizing that I remember coming to this room the night before. The memories and visions that took over my mind and jolted me from sleep still swirled in my head, and I found myself wanting a drink but knowing that I shouldn't and most likely wouldn't get my fix.This is the price I would pay for abandoning the world for five years.

The world had changed so much in that time. The tensions between the French and English were mounting by the day, and the colonists' treatment of the natives wasn't helping matters. Some of the tribes were on the side of the colonists because they had been co-existing without a problem for some time, but many were with the French. All that did was trap and perpetuate the use of the natural resources. I understood the need to keep the land free, but I also saw the reason to bring the land under the control of one group.

The world was heading towards war, and I was beginning to believe that a war might get me back to my normal self. One thing I knew was that I would never get over losing Laela. She was my life, but now she was gone. I was doomed to be alone, unless I got myself killed. That was why I looked forward to the coming war. Someone might get a lucky shot, and I would die and join my love in the next life. As you know, that wasn't the case.

"Captain?" I heard a call from down stairs as I pushed myself out of the bed and reached for my pants. "Are you well?"

I looked at the old clock that they must have gotten out of my vault to make me feel more at home and almost didn't answer. "Better than I've been for months. The D.T.'s has passed."

I pulled on my pants then my shirt and boots as the voice came closer. "Sam wanted me to make sure you were well." I searched my memory trying to figure out whose voice it was that I was hearing. "He had to go into the office, and Maudene and the kids are out as well." I pushed my codpiece into place and locked it just as she opened the door and I knew it was the maid, Beth. "They left me here to make sure you are alright and help you if you need anything."

"I'm fine."I smiled at her. "In fact, this is the best I've felt since my wife died. You needina worry about me."

"Tis my job to worry about you, Captain Hawkins." Beth said softly. "You, the kids, the Gamgie's and everyone else in this house. It is my job to worry about the well-being here, and since you are here that includes you."

"Then you could make me something to eat." I grunted. "I don't like to be taken care of, but in the state I've been in the last five years, I guess I need someone to do it."

"Very well,sir." She smiled a pretty smile and blushed slightly. "I will have your breakfast ready for you soon. Is there anything you would like?"

"Meat." I said, trying to ignore the pheromones she was releasing. "Am sure that you don't have a full side of pork, but a ham will do."

Her eyes widened and the pheromones dissipated from the shock of what I said, but her face suddenly changed. "You said that to lessen my attraction to you. I find that interesting, but I know that you just lost your wife and that it would take a lot longer than five years to get over a relationship that lasted over 200 years. You have no worries that I would try for you."

"Sadian." I grinned. "It figures that Sam and his bunch would hire a bloody Sadian to run the house."

"Actually, Maudene runs the house." She smiled as she turned to leave. "I just clean it and take care of the guests. Your ham will be ready soon."

I felt a bit of shock at her statement not thinking that she would actually go through with it. I shook my head and reached under the bed to pullout the large wooden box stashed under it. I opened it and looked at the remains of my life that lay before me. Laela's battle-suit and knuckle-blades were right next to my katana and wakasashi and the great crystal she had taken from the Rakshasa. Sorrow filled me as I looked at the objects before me as I blamed myself for her death.