Leigh strutted out of Buckingham Palace as she made her way to Starbucks. Afternoon tea with the queen had been excepetionally boring, since all she realleigh wanted to do was go back home to Tanner.
"Would you like me to escort you, love?" asked a polite British boy, offering his hand in exchange for Leigh's. God, how she hated how polite and absolutely perfect British boys were. She preferred Tanner with his imperfections and terrible American accent.
She waved off the British boy and continued to strut in the direction of Starbucks, but the boy continued to plead and beg to escort her.
"Stop it, Harry Styles! I've got a boyfriend already! Leave me alone!" Leigh was absolutely sick of Harry Styles. He couldn't seem to understand that she was over him and they would never, ever ever, get back together.
"Milady, are you sure? My carriage driver can wait for you, if you like, love."
"Please leave, Harry. We're done. I've come to realize that you're not the Harry to my Potter or the Hermione to my Ron. Face it, you were dumped like tea in a harbor."
"But Leigh, how can you say that, love? I thought you were British, love!"
"I was. But Tanner coverted me, and not even tea with the queen can fix that. Only Tom Daley can."
She left Harry Styles standing there, motionless, with crystal tears glistening in his emerald orbs. Sliding into an empty seat at an empty table, Leigh's thoughts soon centered on Tanner. He hadn't called her in a whopping two hours, and she was beginning to worry.
She sifted through her many boxes of tea as she rummaged for her cellphone. When she found it, she promptly dialed Tanner's number and waited for his reply. When none came, she stared out into the dreary weather outside. Amidst a sea of red double-decked buses and telephone booths, a single shaft of sunlight pierced through the veil of clouds onto the street below.
Tanner still hadn't responded and the cavity in her chest began to expand. She would not tolerate being ignored by Tanner, the heart and soul of her life.
She called the queen and asked her to find the American Tanner as well as to send her some of Tom Daley and Josh Hutcherson's nudes. The queen then got a hold of the MI6 who then gave Leigh the address where Tanner was currently residing, but warned her that she might not like what she was going to see.
Leigh sauntered out of Starbucks and onto the sidewalk. A drop of water plopped onto her head and she looked up see a barrage more being hurled at her. The weather had caught up to her. It was going to rain. Like any other animal preparing itself for a natural disaster, Leigh spotted the nearest shelter under a tree.
But before she could reach safety, she was ambushed by a plethora of well-meaning British boys. They offered her umbrellas, jumpers, hot chocolate, their first-born child, a warm fireplace, and raincoats. Soon she was completely wrapped in a waterproof British flag with a a flagon of hot chocolate in her hand.
The catastrophe averted, she jumped aboard a trolley and shouted, "Take me away, my fellow brethren."
When she arrived, she sprinted to the house and threw open the front door, only to find Tanner huddled by a fireplace next to Tom Daley.
"How could you do this to me?" Leigh wailed in despair.
Tanner scrambled to make himself decent as he struggled to cover up his vampire-pale body. "It's not what it looks like! I love you, Leigh, I really do. Honest."
"You bloody American! You were just trying to steal away my Britishness. You never loved me, only my accent."
"Yeah."
"Teigh is over! You've just been dumped in the harbor!"
"Makes sense."
"Now I'm American, just like you! You got what you wanted." Leigh flipped her hair over her shoulder and fled from house, humiliation and tears dusting her cheeks.
A hand grabbed hers, and she swivelled to meet Tom Daley.
"Leigh, I was only with Tanner to try and get closer to you. I love you."
"Oh Tom."
"Oh Leigh. Will you marry me?"
"Of course." They snogged in the rain.
"You saved me, Tom, you saved me from becoming American. I owe you." Leigh gazed into Tom Daley's eyes.
"Hell yeah I did! Now you owe me forever!"
"Oh, and the queen gave me your nudes."
"What?" But before Leigh could explain, a car pulled up to the driveway and out strolled Josh Hutcherson. He reached for Leigh and gave her a swooning kiss.
"Will you marry me?" Josh asked.
"Of course," Leigh shouted.
"Actually I was talking to Tom Daley." Josh gazed at Tom, and their fingers interlocked and they both leaned in to kiss—
"Look, it's the queen!" Leigh screamed, pointing wildly at the sky.
"Where?" Josh asked as they sprung apart.
"Oh, she left." Leigh shrugged and stared at Tom, then Josh, then Tom, then Josh. How could she ever choose between them? But wait, what if she didn't have to? "Do both of you want to marry me?"
"Sure," they said in unison.
And so Leigh married Tom Daley and Josh Hutcherson and lived happily ever after with Morris. It turns out Tom Daley was actually @Tannerr4 after all, and that he had pretended to be a pale Floridian just to get closer to Leigh. The real Tanner met Harry Styles and fell in love.
dedicated to @Tannerr4 since no one actually bothered to dedicated a #teigh one-shot to him because we all love Leigh. #tea4leigh #oops #tea4teigh
