This Boy

1. I Won't Go Soft

WARNING: Any sorts of homophobic comments will not be tollerated. If you do not enjoy the sight of two men holding hands, please do not read this just to make terrible comments on my book, my readers and myself. And also, what the hell is the big deal?!

And if you do want to read, :D Enjoy!

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 I won't go soft. I won't go soft. I cannot become this weak. I won't go soft. I whispered to myself repeatedly. I was most probably going crazy. I was falling to a wreck only by thinking of a friend. A friend. A friend. My best mate. Paul McCartney. 

Oh! I can't stand even thinking about that name! I quietly told myself, getting up from my lying position.

  I was sweating. It was not hot here in Liverpool- in fact, it was Winter! I was shaking all over. I tried to be as quiet as I possibly could because my aunt, Mimi was sleeping in the room to my left. I crept up to the lamp and as I switched it on, I looked at the table clock to check the time. It was a quarter to five in the morning. My eyes widened as I let out a hopeless sigh. I had to wake up at seven for school and seven strict. Mimi couldn't stand a second of delay! I suddenly, felt like crying for some reason. My whole body was burning. I seriously needed to get some sleep but even if I tried my hardest now, it just wouldn't work. It's not like I even care if I'm late. I usually am anyway cos I go for a smoke or something before school. Or sometimes get some birds, you know? But last week, Paul got hurt and I took him to my house- well, Mimi's- and helped him heal. Since then... I felt like there was something that I had unleashed out of a cell in the prison of my heart.

  Why on Earth was I FORCING myself to believe I was a queer of some sort? Well, I might as well be, you know. But I can't be THAT sure already... That's impossible! I still make out with birds and I love it just as much as they do. Paul is just.... fu.. Paul is just PAUL. That's it. Maybe cos he looked a bit like a girl, I was crushing but... No, it all just sounds so strangely QUEER NOW!

  I was slowly falling asleep after hours of wondering about the weirdest things. After HOURS! 

  The alarm went off just as soon as I was about to close my eyes.

  "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!" I got up and, swearing repetedly, I smashed the expensive alarm clock into the tiniest pieces. 

  Mimi came running into my room only to find a crazy haired seventeen years old with pale body, red face and blood-shot eyes burning with anger. "What's all this chaos about, John?!"

  I couldn't speak. I simply, turned to face Mimi with a disturbed visage and blinked a few lazy blinks, almost feeling like there were large heaps of stones weighing my eye-lids down. "I don't want..." my voice suddenly trailed off as I started again, "Don't wanna go..." and again, "Go to school, today... Mimi!" and I finished off with a scream.

  To my surprise, Mimi wasn't angry. She seemed rather worried. "But you HAVE to go!" she said randomly. "Puntchuality is extremely important for any kinds of job, Lennon! I do not want to hear another word about staying at home!" saying this, she made her way to the door but just before she got out, she turned around. She noted, "You look horrible, by the way."

  And OBVIOUSLY, as usual, Aunt Mimi won the war. Can't really call that day's one a war cos I hardly challenged her or fought back because I was too weak to do so, anyway. 

  I went to the school toilets, first thing, and started to smoke to help myself stay awake. When I was done, I walked out of the toilet and after washing my eyes, I stood there staring at a mirror, in a cubicle. I stared at the eyes of a mad teen ager. I was crazy. The kid who had just a few days ago, felt a girl break into a hysterical moaning situation, sweating against his hot body was now believing that was queer? I had to be mad! I had to be ma-

  "John?" a familiar voice spoke out, making me shiver.

  "P-P-Paul?"

Hello everyone! I hope this was a good first chapter to grab your attention! I bet, I made a lot of mistakes on this cos I wrote this chapter without my pair of spectacles. Let me know what you think! :D