All Forms Of Love

The other woman

They said love happened only once.
It was a magical sparkling feeling with butterflies in the stomach and planes crashing against the chest at the same time. I thought i knew what love is. I thought i wont fall in love again. The butterflies were ok. But i coudn't deal with the crashing planes again.
But then this guy came in my life.
He was a charmer. Tall dark handsome. I have never seen someone's smile lighting up their eyes every single time. And what a smile it was. The hollows in his cheeks, those kiss shaped perfect lips, and those slanting eyes, he was just the definition of perfect. He always said the right thing. Even when he was angry he wouldnt say something unnecessarily hurtful. His voice was so soothing to my ears.
I thought it was just my innate bodily needs rising to get fulfilled.
But then i talked to him.
Our intellectual matched so accurate like fingerprints. You find one on an evidence , you run it through data base and u find your culprit. He was the culprit and i was his fingerprint. Identical. Our brains were each others' imprint.
Our thoughts have been like twins separated at birth.
Everything seemed like it was meant to be. He dint take my breath away. He gave me air to breathe. He dint keep me in a golden cage. He taught me how to fly. He held my hand and uplifted every damned part of my soul.
No, He wasnt my saviour. I wasnt a damsel in distress. I had no sadness hovering over me in prticular. He helped me be a better perosn each day. Instead it was him, who was lonely and tired of this world. He was separated from his love , his girlfriend and was waiting for one day to marry her when her folks would agree.
I told you love is just a tornado. It will rip you apart and leave you in pieces for you to collect.
Here he was. Right in front of me. My mirror image. And i couldnt have him. He was a man of his words. He had promised a girl his surname. He would never go back on his words even it meant loss of his soulmate.
The little time that we had together was like sunshine in antarctic. The feeling of his existence is enough for peace in my life. He told me once that people like me are hard to come by and are never to be lost.
So many emotions. All returned back to each other. He married her.
And i cried. Cried for many nights. Tears wouldnt stop. I drank. I drank alone every night for a month. I thought of sharing meaning less nights with random people, just to give this pain a rest.
Nothing in the world seemed to help dampen my pain. He was gone. Gone to her. Never to return back to me. This thought gave me immense pain like 1000 needles constantly piercing in my skin and then coming out and then piercing again going in cycles.
How can you be someone's metaphorical twin and be away from them. Why would this happen with me. I am a good person. I dint do anything wrong with anyone. Why would something so horrendous happen with me. I kept asking these question everynight drunk in my bed without an answer. I repected him for standing by his words. But this lonliness drove like a dagger through my heart tearing me apart.
120 days passed by. I longed for him. For his presence. For his touch. For a hug. If only i could see him smile once more. I keep thinking all day the way he used to look at me. My thoughts keep running back to the day he first made love to me. His firm touch on my skin , those soft wet lips on mine sent waves of currents in my body. I wanted him. I wanted him up close to me. Close enough to feel his hands running under my shirt on my body. I wanted to look into his eyes and feel that glimpse in them of how happy i made him. His embrace was the safest place i could be in.
Alone in a corner i kept pondering over how i was firm on not falling for any guy again and yet again  how i struck the hammer on my own foot. Where did i go wrong?
Then one day i realized its not me who has been wronged. Its that girl. Her love was in my arms. Her love was my soulmate. Her love was happy with me. She was the one waiting to marry him. Waiting for 3 years. She was the one kept in darkness. She still doesnt know. She will never know. I have to live with the truth everyday. I did do wrong with someone. Though it doesnt seem wrong to love someone and be loved by someone, to be held in someone's arms and feel safe, to feel every emotion so deeply.
But then again,
i was nothing but THE OTHER WOMAN.