Im just a goner... Losing a lot of friends... Having no one..... Barely happy but still desperately trying to be happy..... loving but who will love back when they already left you....
No one will ever understand how i feel... trying to commit suicide 13 times, geting depressed more than often, getting left behind..... who am i to blame.... its like my life only has 1 chance.... making a mistake.... changes everything.... making 1 mistake.... turns my life into a nightmare..... a nightmare version of my own.....
my life is complicated.... barely holding on to what i have...... also rather losing my mind than getting it back...... the trust i had.... gone.... the love i had..... gone.... the happiness i had......
....all gone...
becuz of 1 mistake.....
It never seemed to had mattered for many because its not their life... its mine..... so i have no choice but to accept it... the life i have right now is the life i never wanted..... believe me i tried so hard to be happy and be normal.... tho it was in vain...
When you just hadd to keep every deep thought and feeling deep in inside you just keeps on piling up like a mad person.... my feelings just keep getting bigger and bigger and more painful than before...
I didnt want this to happen... but...
it was my fate anyway..... people say its gonna be fine.... how can you say its gonna be fine when things just get worse and ending up me trying to die....
We're here for you...
yet you tend to leave me behind...
We can help you get through this situation
when you dont really know how to help me with my depression...
Yeah... they say i can just find somebody else to love me.....
im not gonna be happy.... if i just keep remembering the times of him and me....
im cutting this now... i dont wantto really all my feelings... its...too complicated nad sad to understand....
smiling.....
how do you smile.....?
