I lay down with sleep clawing and begging my eyes to shut.I hear the soft hum of my sister's snoring. Smiling to myself,I turn around to face her. Peaceful. She looks so peaceful. I search her face. No bags under her eyes. No worry on her face. No stress, just peace. I sigh to myself in satisfaction. I stare at her for a few more minutes. Finally I give in; I let the sleep take over.
I'm jolted awake by the excruciating sound of the car pulling into the driveway. I lunge out of bed. Careful not to wake my sister, I rush to the window. I peep out the blinds to see a tall dark figure slam the car door. My monster has arrived. I cringe as he makes his way towards the front door. I scramble to get to my bed and say a silent prayer. I hear the front door open and slam. I cringe as I turn around to see if the sound woke my sister. I sigh in relief. I hear the agonizing sound of his work boots hitting the hardwood floors getting closer. I ease myself out of bed. I step into the hallway. My body is trembling. My shirt and the hair on my neck is glued to me by sweat. I come face to face with a red eyed beast covered in filth. I take a deep breath and almost gag. The smell could fill up the whole neighborhood - it was terrible. I force myself to stop trembling. I take a step closer and steady my breathing. It's time to face my demons. I will not run or hide again. I am in control.
I take a deep breath and say. "Hi, dad".
He walks by me bumping into my shoulder.I stand my ground, forcing myself not to fall. He will not put me down. I am in control. I hear my parents room door shut behing me. I wait and count to ten and then let out my breath. I didn't even realize I stopped breathing.
I glance at my brother's door and sigh in relief.
"Your safe now little brother", I say so only I can hear.
I head back towards my room and feel the weight on my shoulders and heart lighten up a little bit. JUST a little bit. I smile to myself one last time before letting sleep consume me. I am in control.
