Fatal Miscalculations •Jaeyong•

Chapter 16

Taeyong took a bite of the chocolate truffle that Jaehyun fed him and slowly hummed at the sweetness that melted on his tongue. "Is that me?" Jaehyun breathed against Taeyong's neck, nuzzling his nose while the younger finished the sketch of the Smilodon.

Taeyong shivered and recoiled, smiling. Jaehyun's hair smelled nice. It smelled like the shampoo Taeyong used now. He wondered if he were starting to become heavy for Jaehyun to bear since he had been perched sideways on Jaehyun's lap for almost an hour now as they sat on the chair by the desk with the study lamp turned on. But Jaehyun hadn't protested thus far as he continued to keep arm curled around Taeyong's back to brace him while his other arm lightly rested on Taeyong's thighs, except when he reached to grab the truffles the servants had delivered to the room a moment ago.

"I don't know any other Smilodon," Taeyong muttered, crossing his legs and shifting his weight atop Jaehyun's lap so that he could lean sideways against Jaehyun's chest.

"I feel special." He picked another truffle and fed Taeyong half before eating the remainder himself. This was the life Taeyong knew he'd have with Jaehyun if there were no conflicts and complications. This peaceful, tranquil, beautiful life. Even the small glimpse of it brought Taeyong a joy he'd never imagined.

He shuddered and closed his eyes when Jaehyun's hand moved from his thigh to his belly. Jaehyun pressed his forehead on Taeyong's shoulder and felt the shape of the swollen belly for a moment. They hadn't discussed anything that had happened earlier today. Nothing about Taeyong's confession in the study, about Jaecen's visit, about Jaehyun kissing Jaecen, or even about the secrets Jaehyun's uncle had divulged. Taeyong saw no point in discussing them. This moment, he was happy. He was with his family and it was all that mattered.

"I can't believe this," Jaehyun whispered, raising his head. "It just hit me earlier..."

"What?" Taeyong asked, brushing the tip of his nose on Jaehyun's temple.

"I'm going to be a father."

Taeyong pulled back a little and blinked at Jaehyun. It hit him then, too. They were both going to be parents and that entailed duties neither of them was prepared for.

Jaehyun's eyebrows were tugged in a frown. "I don't know... how to be a father," he said and bit his lip.

"Me neither," Taeyong admitted. "But most new parents don't. They learn."

"Yeah, but it's a... responsibility. I could screw up. And he could end up hating me like how I hate..." he trailed off, shaking his head.

"You're not happy," Taeyong said, lowering his head. He had never thought about whether Jaehyun wanted this baby or not...

"No, no," Jaehyun blurted out and tightened his arms around Taeyong. "I am. More than happy. And it's with someone I... love. The night we... made love, I thought about it... What if we'd been married at the time and you and I were... making a baby. You're right. We'd learn to be parents. I just don't want to be a disappointment."

Taeyong lowered the sketchpad and brought a hand to Jaehyun's chest to finger his shirt button. "You'd have children with Jaecen, too?" he asked in a low voice.

Jaehyun's frown deepened and his arms stiffened. "I don't want to," he whispered.

"But you must?"

He went silent for a moment. Then sucking in a breath, he said, "If we were married, yes, I'll be forced to bond and mate with him... I don't want to marry him, Taeyong. Much less bear a child with him."

"But you don't hate him. You'd have married him happily if you hadn't met me."

"Perhaps. But I'm also thinking about how unfair it is to him. He already lost a child and to be married and to live and to have a child with a man who doesn't love him... It's atrocity. I can't bring myself to do that."