Broken Trust

Its Monday the 1st of October 2018, but my story goes way back. 219 days to be precise.  

Some viewed me as stupid and "in a different world". But no, that wasn't it. I wasn't stupid, I just saw the good in people. I trusted everyone too much. I thought people were good, I thought i wouldn't get hurt. But i did. And 219 days later, I wish I had listened to everyone around me. I wish I was more cautious. I wish I was wiser and awake to the real world. 

I saw the world so ideal. I saw those around me perfect. I thought I could trust those who were close to me. I never expected so much cruelty and betrayal. Especially from those I had once loved. 

If you could see me 220 days ago and today, you can tell something huge had occurred. You can tell I have changed. As I once was talkative, trusting, and one who believes in the good of others; I now am a quiet person with huge trust issues and fear those around me. 

"You have a beautiful, innocent spark in your eyes." My mother says to me. But little does she know, her daughter is on the verge of crying, and has completely crossed the line of innocence.

"You are over reacting." My best friend said. But she has never had the feeling of being completely, and utterly broken. 

"You need to move one." They said to me, but no one really understands how much I am hurting. 

I guess no one understands the pain or the horror. I guess this is something I am going to have to face alone. For the first time ever, I am going to have to stand by own side. Be my own shoulder and strength. Rely on no one but me. 

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220 days ago I had a boyfriend, Alan, whom I loved very much. In my eyes, he was everything. I gave him my heart in a second without even thinking. I loved almost everything about him. 

I loved all the things he said to me:

"I care about you" 

"I love you"

"I will never leave your side"

"You got me"

I was so in love with the lies I thought were truths. 

But this is nothing different from any love story. I guess they are all liars. They can't ever own their words. 

Sadly, I couldn't tell he was lying from the beginning. But I did find out soon enough to protect myself before anything gets too far. 

Everyone knows who a girl goes to when she is having troubles with her boyfriend. Her best friend of course. 

I had a few, not only one. 

But I guess I wanted  a boy's advice. So I went to him. Jason, Jace for short. 

Jace wasn't just my best friend, he was like a brother to me. 

While my real brother was away for college, Jace took his place in my life. 

My mom wouldn't let me go anywhere without him. He took really good care of me and was always there for me. 

I knew that if one day anything happened to me, he would be the first I would call.

Any time I felt like i was in danger, I called him, and I found him next to me as soon as possible

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219 days ago, it all happened. The worst day that had yet passed by me.