Living the dream ( Book 3 of "The summer that changed my life")

A decision to make.

Dear diary!

It’s been a week since the tour finished and I really had the time of my life. Every night when I entered the stage and sang my song I couldn’t feel anything but joy, I knew that this is really what I wanted to do. I have been spoken with many different record labels that wants me to sign their contract but I haven’t sign anything yet. It’s not that I don’t want to it’s just that I don’t know which one I should take. I have spoken to the boys and asked them which one they think I should sign but they just said ” Sign the one that you think works for you” so to be honest asking them didn’t help me decide. Then I spoke with Nick’s dad Kevin and he gave me a list of all the artist that every label have had and well it mad the decision a little easier, I’m now only choosing between Sony music entertainment and Universal Music group. And trust me it’s not easy. 

But enough about that, I’m living at the Jonas in the guest house, where it all started. Well maybe not everything but my relationship with Nick. And no we’re not a couple, I know that he really wants us to be that and I kind of want that to but it’s to early. I know that it’s been six months since Josh died but it just doesn’t feel right to start a new relationship. I talked with SArah about this and she said that I got together with Josh four months after I broke up with Nick but it was different. Because Nick and I broke up, Josh and I didn’t he died. But I know that I have to move on sometime but not right now. 

People is still telling me that they are sorry for my lost and it’s not really helping me moving on, it feels like every time someone says that to me, I take a step back in my moving on process. I know that they are telling me that to show me that they care and think of me, and I appreciate it, I really do, but it’s hard for me at the same time. They are also asking me how I do a little bit to much, I keep saying that I’m not okay but I will be and I can now feel that it’s just a matter of time before I’ll be okay. 

Well I should get back to my decision on record label. See ya later alligator. 

I closed the book and grabbed Josh’s guitar and my song book and continued writing on a song that I have been working on for these last two months. It’s not really finished because I want it to be perfect because it’s one of the things that will help me forward in my moving on process. 

It suddenly knocked on the door and I put away my songbook under the sheets and said come in. The door opened and Frankie walked in.

” Hey!” He said.

” Hey, what’s up?” I asked. The last time I was here I didn’t had so much time to get to know Frankie but under the tour I took my time to get to know him and I must say that I love this kid! 

” I’m bored” He said. 

” Well then I think we should do something about that!” I said. 

” Like what?” He asked. 

” Well we have been stuck on a bus for two months so I think it’s time to play some serious  kicking as football, or do you have a better idea?” I said.

” That’s sounds awesome, I’ll go and get the ball” He said and ran out of the door. I got up and put on my running shoes and a hoodie and closed the door after me and walked up to the house to met up Frankie. He had found the ball and up cones that would represent the goal. We started to play and he was really good at it which made it so much more fun and we both pretty much like to win so we didn’t go easy on each other. After 10 minutes no one of us had made a goal yet and I started to get a bit frustrate, I can’t lose to a 14 years old and that was all I needed to say to myself because a few seconds later I made a goal.