-Hayeon-
162 hours.
I yawned as I made my way down to the kitchen to see Jungwoo and Jaemin setting the table. The scent of food filled the air, making my stomach grumble.
"Who cooked?" I asked.
"Both of us did." Jaemin said cheerfully.
"Morning, Hayeon."
"Morning." I chirped back.
Jungwoo made his way to me and kissed my forehead.
"How are you?" He asked me.
"I'm okay, how about you?"
He sighed. "I'll manage."
"Look, if you wanna talk to anyone, you can talk to me, okay? I haven't told mom or dad anything and I don't plan to tell them anything. But I'm here." I said gently as I gave him a small smile.
He pulled me into a tight embrace. "Thank you."
"Sorry to break the moment," Jaemin said softly after a few seconds, "but we'll be late if we don't eat now. Considering how slow Hayeon eats."
"Oh ha ha, very funny." I said monotonously as I pulled away.
Jungwoo chuckled. "Let's eat and hope you meet your soulmate today."
I sighed. "I hope so, but I doubt it."
We ate and talked about a couple of things. It's been a while since Jaemin had eaten with us, by a while I mean like two months.
Two months ago, the government sent both of our families a letter, warning us of how close Jaemin and I were, and that people may get the wrong idea. Of course, my parents convinced the government that Jaemin and I were just close friends, nothing more, and thankfully they believed us. But still, Jaemin wanted to keep some space between us, just in case the government didn't actually believe.
But now, he was here, with us, just because of what I went through last night. And I gotta say, I missed him.I looked at him, gratefulness filling me up. I smiled slightly and he looked at me. He gave a soft smile as well, his eyes saying that everything would be fine. But I noticed that there was a hint of sadness behind that.
-Jaemin-
I wasn't stupid.
All I had to do was to put two and two together.
A government official had visited Renjun yesterday to warn him that his soulmate was turning 18 today, meaning he'd get the countdown clock. Coincidentally, Hayeon just happens to turn 18, getting the countdown clock as well. It didn't take a genius to think that Hayeon and Renjun were possibly soulmates.
We were all 19 and our soulmates are either a year younger or just a couple of months apart and it meant that we were all going to meet our soulmates soon. But... for some reason it saddened me. The fact that my childhood best friend wasn't my soulmate saddened me.
Hayeon has been with me since she was in her diaper, even younger. Our moms always said that I acted as if I was her older brother and Jungwoo hyung's younger brother.
But I couldn't love Hayeon like an older brother could. I loved her the way I couldn't. I didn't love her as a friend. I didn't love her as a sister.
I loved her as a lover and that was a crime.
To love someone else's soulmate, to have you loved by someone other than your soulmate, it was a crime. A crime often committed. A crime you're punished physically for, only if you're found out. A crime you're punished for emotionally and mentally as soon as you've realized it. A crime you punish yourself for.
A crime I've been committing for the past thirteen years.
A crime I've been paying for, for the past thirteen years.
A crime I've been punishing myself for, for the past thirteen years.
A crime I'll continue to punish myself for, for as long as I live.
A crime I'll keep with me until I die.
