Shirou's could be seen sitting at a desk looking down at paperwork. "Ok, where did the old qrow leave you all off on..." said shirou as he looked through a few pieces of paperwork, before his eyes widen and he reels back. "Holy fucknuggets, he left you that far behind!" Shirou yelled. "SWEAR JAR!!!" Summer could be heard telling at shirou from the next room. Shirou sighed. "And the old qrow calls himself a teacher... ok, so the last bit of info on remnant that he told was in volume 4, and it was a inaccurate telling of the prologue of this story as well as a rough idea about the relics and the location of the relic of choice... fuck" said shirou.
"SWEAR JAR SHIROU!!!" shouted summer. "I'm gonna ignore that. So, let's go into more detail on what the relics do, and what this salem chick wants with them. I hope when I meet my mom samael, she's not like this salem woman" shirou said to himself.
(Vidar: Oh the fucking irony. Summer: SWEAR JAR VIDAR!!! Vidar: SUMMER, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE 4TH WALL BREAK!!!)
"So, let's start off with the relic of the kingdom me and summer live in and love, mistral. Mistral holds the relic of knowledge." shirou said as he pulled out a poorly drawn picture of a gold lantern with blue light coming from it. "Its believed that the relic of knowledge, is a lantern holding a all knowing genie." said shirou as a chibi version of Jinn appeared in a thought bubble. "It gives you knowledge about everything that has already happened, but It can't tell you about the future. Furthermore, just like a normal genie, you can only ask it 3 things every 100 years." said shirou as images of chibi jinn nodding in agreement.
"Moving on to the other 3 relics. Let's get to the kingdom of the cold and rich assholes-" said shirou. "SWEAR JAR!!!" summer yelled from another room. "-atlas." Finished shirou. "Atlas holds the relic of creation, also called the staff of creation, and lance of creation. Now, the relic of creation is essentially alchemy from full metal alchemist brotherhood." Said shirou as chibi jinn waved before disappearing and was replaced for chibi Edward elric. A chibi qrow appears and chibi edward takes qrow's scythe and gets chased around by chibi qrow.
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"Alchemy is essentially equivalent exchange. You can create basically anything, as long as you offer something that would be equal to what you receive. For instance, to make a wedding ring you would need a empty beer can and a shard of glass." Said shirou as chibi edward did a transmutation on a empty beer can and a shard of glass to make a ring and kneels down to pick it up and holds it up. As he does, a chibi winry walks by and stops infront of chibi Edward before blushing and tackling him as pink hearts appear over them. "but to create a life, like bringing someone back from the dead or make a homunculus, another person has to be offered or more than one person." said shirou as chibi edward and chibi alphonse attempted to make a homunculus and chibi alphonse dissapears but chibi Roman torchwick appears instead, brought back from the dead. "But here is the biggest reason why it's called the lance of creation. It is called that because it is meant to be a weapon. The alchemy is what the lance can perform while sealed, but if wielded by someone the lance deems as a worthy wielder, it can create anything using the infinite energy of the void, even if what you want to create is a attack that can end the world, or begin restoring the world to what it was previously." Explained shirou.
"Next is the relic of destruction, which is in vacuo, also known as the sword of destroying gods, and the dragon slayer." Said shirou as chibi edward vanishes and a chibi issei hyoudou appears. "The relic of destruction, has the ability to destroy everything it touches, just like shigaraki's quirk from my hero academia. It destroys, destroys, and destroys, until nothing but a lifeless wasteland remains" said shirou as chibi issei looks at a girls clothing, and it destroys itself much to his pleasure. "The gods feared this weapon because it was the only one able to kill them because of its affinity of harming dragons, and the gods said to be dragons."
"And the final relic, is the relic of choice, also known as the crown of choice, and crown of the king." Said shirou as chibi issei fades away and a chibi artoria pendragon from fate stay night appears to take his place. "The relic of choice gives the person wielding it to choose the fate of the world. It allows you to make choices for people that become absolute. By wielding this relic, it's like the life of every living being who had sentience to make a choice is in your hands. Truly, it is the relic of the true king." Said shirou as chibi artoria looks left, looks right, and then strait as she puts on the relic of choice like her original king crown. Her ahoge was sticking through the hole of the crown and wagging like the tail of a happy puppy as she gave off a closed eyed smile.
"And that's all 4 fucking relics. Fuck... I need a fucking drink after tha-" shirou started to say as he leaned back in his chair to relax but the door to the room he was in was kicked off of its hinges as summer stood in the doorway with a cold expression. Her eyes where glowing silver and they looked terrifying. "Swear. Jar." Said summer in a cold voice that would make anyone piss their pants. "O-o-ok..." mumbled a scared shirou as summer slowly walked out of the doorway and back to what she was doing. "I-i'll see you all next time..." muttered out a scared shirou.
