ASHLEY'S POV
3 months. 3 months without her. 3 months witout the love of my life and what could possibly be my unborn child. I fucked up again. I was so angry that she slept with someone else. She wasn't even with me when she did it. I don't know why i got so angry. Maybe it was because someone else touched her the way i touched her. Maybe it's because I hated the fact that she gave it to someone else. Maybe it was self hatred for leaving her. Everythings my fault. Now I'm sitting in my living room with a bottle of Jack Daniels and some leftover pizza.
My life has gone down hill since that day 3 long months ago. I fell into a whirlwind of depression and self hatred. The guys tried to bring me back to the old Ashley, but there's only one person who could do that and she isn't here. I don't know where she went, if she's ok, if the baby's ok, if she's even alive. Oh God, what if something horrible has happend.
She hasn't even contacted anyone, not even her sister. Riley would tell me if she had. I know she would. Maybe she's really gone this time. I may never see her again, or hold her, or feel her body pressed up against my torso while we sleep, or feel her slim fingers trace my "OUTLAW" tattoo.
I haven't gone back to playboy chasing Ashley Purdy. I'm way more introverted now. I haven't had sex since Marissa. I've even considered quitting Black Veil Brides. I need her. I can't function without her touch, without her soft lips upon mine. I need her more than food, shelter, or clothing. I would give anything to redo that mistake, that night that changed my life. I had her back, I had her in my arms again, then just like a bird who learned how to fly, she was gone again. Words can't describe how much I love her or how much I miss her. Tokyo and KIller have even noticed the somber actions of their once energetic owner.
Please Marissa, Please come back to me. I can't face this world alone. This was my last thought before passing out from the vast amount of Jack Daniels and Smirnoff Vodka that I've consumed i last few hours.
MARISSA'S POV
It's been 3 months since I left. I could lie and say i was happy, but thats not the case. Everything in my life seems to be crashing down. I'm now over 4 months pregnant and I'm happy about that, but everything else I'm not. I have no job, and I'm living in a homeless shelter for pregnant women in England. I try not to go out to often. I don't want the world to see me because I don't think that they'd understand. Why I look so broken, why I have a permanent frown, why my hair isn't perfect, why my face is sunken in in a broken way, why the light that was once so bright, it would put new york city to shame left my eyes.
I miss him. I miss his touch. The passion that flowed through my body every time his soft lips touch my pale skin. I miss the love I was once felt evrytime his long fingers touched my body. I think about him all the time. He's my first and last thought of the day. I can't help but wonder what he's doing. He's probably sitting at the oak table with Andy, CC, Jake, Jinxx, and possibly even Riley. They're probably listening to music while they talk about all the things that are coming up for black veil brides. Perhaps what's going on in each other's relationships.
I wonder if Ashley has a girlfriend. One that's way prettier then I'll ever be. One that is dedicated to him. Perhaps one with blond hair and nice curves. Does he hold her like he used to hold me? Does he think about her when he's in the studio recording? Does he kiss her with the same passion that used to course through both of our bodies whenever our lips touched? Does he give her that smile that shows how much he loves her? Does he flip his hair and laugh whenever she does something funny or cute? Has he forgotten about me? Does he hold her every night and rub her back until she goes to sleep?
Questions seem to be the only thing that ever goes on in my head anymore. I only ever think of the what ifs, the whys and the wonders. I want him so bad, it hurts internally. Like my insides have been ripped out of my skin by a clawed demon. Everyday with the hurt and guilt seems like I'm on autopilot. I get up, shower, eat, brush my hair and teeth, eat again, go to bed, and repeat. Everyday a deja vu. Every days just another day I have to be stuck on this planet with an unborn being living and growing inside my uterus. Sometimes I find myself imagining Ashley with our baby. Would he hold him or her and would his eyes light up every time they giggle or try to talk. Would we lay in bed and talk about the other kids we may want. Maybe even the names of the future children. We would wake up everyday in a good mood and hold our children til it was time to go to bed.
They would grow up and become like their dad, or a doctor, or a lawyer, maybe even an actor or actress. A songwriter or director. All the happy thoughts in my head will never happen. My dreams went inside the never-ending pits of hell as soon as i stepped foot in that airport 3 months ago. But what else could I do? Ashley hates me, he thinks I'm a slut, a whore, a pathetic excuse for a woman.
I miss him, yes, maybe just maybe we'll run into each other one day years from now, when the baby's all grown up. Maybe we'll rekindle the flames of love and get back together. Maybe we'll get married and have more kids
All of the scenarios going on in my head probably aren't even reasonable. It's all just wishful thinking, that's all it'll ever be.
Please please, my outlaw, come back to me, and if you don't, please don't forget me.
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A/N yes the sequel is finally up!!! I had to think of story lines and ideas. I also had huge writers block. Thanks for reading!!!
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