Beaches

Part 10

He didn't wake until she knocked on his door, just loudly enough to disturb his shallow sleep. The door opened and he sat up. Rosemary stood at the door but didn't come in.

"She's eating breakfast," she said.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" he said.

Rosemary smiled. "Get dressed and come downstairs. You can see for yourself."

Jacob nodded to her back as she left the room. He wasn't sure what to do. He was glad that Emma was alive, pleased that she hadn't died alone and scared, but that didn't mean he wanted to take responsibility for her. There was a reason he hadn't come back sooner, and although he would never admit to it, maybe that was why.

The realisation made him uncomfortable, but it didn't make up his mind. He felt pushed into a corner, unsure whether his thoughts of leaving were selfish or really the right thing for Emma.

One thing he was sure of was that refusing to see her would be insulting to Rosemary. After everything she'd done, she didn't deserve that. He got out of bed, smoothed his hair and went downstairs before he could change his mind.

Emma was sitting at the kitchen table pushing pieces of bread into her mouth. She had her green breakfast plate and a Sippy cup full of orange squash. Her slim fingers were coated in a layer of peanut butter and there was more around her mouth. Rosemary was sitting beside her and, for a moment, neither of them seemed to notice him.

It was a surprise to realise how much he missed her. He felt a tug on his heart and a confused mixture of sympathy and envy. The sympathy was easy to understand; she had lost her parents; her whole world had been turned upside down. The envy was more complex; did she realise that those things had happened? She probably had no idea how different things were now and how much easier was it to be ignorant? No one expected her to fight, to survive...

He shook his head and the thought dissipated like a cloud of vapour. He shouldn't be there, he was only going to upset her.

Jacob was on the verge of leaving when Rosemary said, "Emma?" She put a hand on his sisters. "Have you seen who's here?"

Emma looked up. It took a moment for her roving eyes to find him on the other side of the room. Her mouth opened but he couldn't tell whether it was fear or delight. Then she croaked out a throaty laugh and her arms were in the air, reaching towards him.

Everything that he'd been worried about was forgotten in an instant. The peanut butter covered state of her was unimportant. Jacob crossed the room, put his arms around her and felt hers around him. He was crying, but they were tears of joy and relief. She remembered him.

"I knew you were coming back," Rosemary said. "So, I showed her pictures, so she wouldn't forget."

Jacob nodded into Emma's neck and, although the reaction was small, he didn't think he had ever been so grateful to anyone for anything in his entire life.