Am I Dreaming?

7

I sat in shock staring at the spot where Castiel was standing minutes ago. One minute we're discussing feelings and the next minute he's gone, mid sentence he just poofed away. All I knew on his end was that it was out of one of my three scenarios I thought up and as I kept replaying them over in my head my heart kept sinking, two out of three weren't good and my odds weren't either. I don't really know how long they were gone but I never moved from my spot hoping that maybe I was dreaming or something, hoping that this wasn't really happening as the lump formed in my throat as I fought back the tears welling up in my eyes.

After a many deep breaths and a few stray tears I found myself regaining composure, ‘and apparently just in time for the guys to return’ I think to myself when I hear heavy footsteps heading towards my room. Wiping my face and meeting them at the door I greet them with a smile, “how was the hunt boys?”

“We found the reason you're here, we caught the son of a bitch,” Dean says completely ignoring my question.

“Cas is handling it, then when he comes back he will sent you home,” Sam adds resting a hand on my shoulder.

My heart drops as the final words slip out his mouth and my body tenses. They have been keeping me out to find a way to ship me off, they don't want me here yet this whole time I thought I was them becoming like part of the family. I nod stiffly and turn away from them causing Sam's hand to fall of my shoulder, without saying another word I plop onto my bed once more and press play on the movie I had picked earlier that day but never watched.

Both boys stared at me in shock before shutting the door and retreating down the hall somewhere. Once I couldn't hear their footsteps anymore I let tears fall silently as I choked back my sobs. This was the closest thing I felt to a real home and they didn't want me here. I silently cried throughout the whole movie I had on before finally deciding what I was going to do as I calmed myself for the second time that day.

Standing I strolled over to the desk retrieving the book that Castiel had gotten for me once he learned I liked to write and my favorite pen before sitting back in my bed. Settling into my spot once again I open to the nearest blank page and take a deep breath preparing for what I'm about to write and then setting my pen to the paper and beginning to write what I have to.

As in lost in what I'm writing I don't hear Castiel flutter in until he speaks causing me to jump nearly messing up my writing, “y/n..”

Closing the book I look up at him and take a deep breath, “I don't want to know which of the three options it is Castiel, I don't want to talk about that anymore it doesn't matter I'm leaving since you're here now to send me back to my universe.”

I don't look at him after I say that, I can't because I know I won't make it look believable. After a few minutes I hear  him shuffle heading towards my bedroom door, “Meet us in the dining room when you are ready,” he says before he leaves the room closing the door a little harder than needed.

Taking another deep breath I open the book again looking at the page I was working on briefly before I decided how to continue what I was writing. Now that Castiel was here I had to be fast with this, of I took to long the boys would realize something is wrong. After ten more minutes I finish off the page I am writing and I close the book and head towards the library where I am assuming they will be waiting for me.

When I reach the doorway I find the room empty, so I decide to place the book on the table with a sticky note that says ‘read me’ before I set off to find them. After I couldn't find them anywhere I decided to head to the kitchen knowing I can probably find Dean there. I head towards the kitchen quietly, as I near the entryway I hear all three of them talking.

“What are you trying to say Cas?” Sam asks hesitantly.

“If I'm thinking right he's warning us before he makes a dumbass decision,” Dean barks out and I can hear his bitch face from where I stand.  

“All I am saying is y/n was sent here for more than just the simple fact that she was in danger, that creature was after her for more reason than just to kill her. If we don't send her back now then she could be in worse danger Dean, she is supposed to be the mother of a nephilim,” Castiel sighs before adding “if she bares a child there is a high chance she could die in birth and if she survived she would be a target.”

“She already is a target just being in our presence Cas,” Dean begins to say.

I took this as my chance to make my presence known to all three of them, deciding to stop the tension from forming in the room over me. As I step into the doorway I look between them and I see I'm already too late by the way all three of them are looking at each other.

“Did I miss something?” I ask acting as though I didn't hear what they were just saying as I walked over to them.

All three shook their heads at me and Sam cleared his throat as Castiel began adding some more ingredients into the bowl he had on the counter “No, we uh were just talking about how it might be for you being back home after so long.”

Just as Sam finishes up his lie Cas speaks, “It's done,” he says causing me to nod and hug both Winchesters as he begins to draw out the same symbol I seen Balthazar draw in the French Mistake on one of the closet doors near the kitchen.

After saying goodbye to both the boys I walk over to the door and stop beside Castiel staring at him for a moment before I wrapped him in a hug one last time. When I pull away I look back at all three of them before I walk through the door and into the dark room. After waiting for a few minutes I open the door again and walk out only to be met with my kitchen in the apartment I haven't been in in so long.