Andre 🖤
I just watched how Aaliyah slept so peaceful in my arms, I really had a good girl and I cant even count how times I've hurt her in the past, when she only rode for me. I really felt like a aint shit ass nigga but she made me feel like I deserved to be with her and I honestly didn't. I placed small kisses on her stomach, and traced her scar with my fingers. Feeling tears in my eyes.
I often wonder it'd be like if we had our son, he would of been here if it wasn't for my selfish actions. We lost him last year when Aaliyah came home from her grandads funeral to me, fucking another woman in our bed. She had just turned 18, and the worst day of her life I wasn't there for her, I rather step put and be in some pussy.
After she caught me, I was like a deer in headlights. She literally stabbed me in the shoulder, and dragged the girl off the bed in the midst the girl was kicking and screaming, sending a kick right at Aaliyah's 6 month belly. I seen blood gush out of her, and she screamed a scream I never heard. She had passed out on the way to the hospital, after waiting hours and hours.
The nurse finally came to me and told me she had to have an emergency C-section and my son didn't even make it 5 seconds into the world before he was pronounced dead. That shit definitely hit me the hardest, it ever did. It was all my fault, I don't care how bad she tried to play it out, I knew she blamed me for the loss of our son.
"I forgave you along time ago, just forget it" Aaliyah startled me and pushed me off her, quickly wiping her tears.
"T-today is the day" I followed her, hugging her.
"I know today is the day I lost MY son" She walked out of my grasp and slammed the bathroom door.
I knew if I was there for the funeral, instead of fucking a bitch. My son would of made it, I wanted to make other kids but she got on birth control and made me start wearing condoms ever since. I really aint deserve this girl, and sometimes I wonder why she even took me back. I mean I know I was her first everything, and all she know but that shit shouldn't of made her stay. Every since that day, I never stepped out on her again and I didn't plan too.
I sighed and stormed out of my room, bumping right into Jasmine. "Dam nigga. yall good? I know I remember Aaliyah crying last night about JR" She paused seeing the tears in my eyes and pulling me into hug.
"Damn bro, its that bad?" I nodded and decided to leave the house for the day, she said her son like he wasn't my kid too? That shit fucked me up.
It was about 2 in the afternoon and here I was at the bar, drinking my issues away. I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned around. "Hey you need someone to talk to?" A pretty female flashed a smile and took a seat next to me ordering herself a drink, I found myself venting to this stranger. I had to quickly leave before it turned into more than a friendly conversation. Walking into the house I seen Aaliyah laid out on Jasmines chest, sleep.
"What the fuck?" I grabbed her arm and lifted her up, I was drunk but I wasn't feeling this shit.
Aaliyah ❤️
"Are you drunk?" I snatched away from Andre as he stumbled.
"Are you a hoe?" He shot back, Jasmine quickly stood up to explain to him that, I started to have a panic attack and she literally had to hold me from shaking so bad, and I ended up falling asleep. Nothing like he was thinking.
"Are you happy now?" I yelled after he started to look dumb after Jasmine was finished.
"Baby I'm sorry" He pleaded and grabbed my hands kissing them. I went to hug but quickly pulled back. "Why you smell like cheap ass dollar tree perfume?" I mushed his head.
"It's not what you think baby" He hiccupped. "I was at a bar and a woman just wanted friendly conversation, that's it and she hugged me before I left, I swear"
"Okay" I chuckled. "Imma go to the bar and have a friendly conversation with a man and let him hug me then" I bumped passed him and walked out the house, Ignoring him and Jasmine arguing. I wasn't going to drink, I was going to where I buried my son ashes where my grandfather was buried.
I buried my grandfather, and lost my son all on my 18ths birthday. Today doesn't even feel like my birthday, I hate today and all the pain it caused. I blame myself for reacting without thinking about my son, why wasn't he my first priority? I could never answer the question. It only ate me up on the inside. I sat at the graveyard, talking to my son and grandfather for hours, crying, and laughing at memories my grandfather and I shared. He was the only one I was close to in my family.
Other than my sister, we were inseparable.
Soon after his death, she moved to Cali with her boyfriend. We're still close but I just miss her presence. It was hard from being with her everyday, to not seeing her. We still facetime all day, but I miss my other half.
Especially times like this, I quickly FaceTimed her and I couldn't get a word out before I broke down. "Baby sis, I'm getting on a flight tonight. I'll be there tomorrow" She told to me and disconnected the call.
I was so thankful for her, whenever I needed her she was there.
Making my way back home, I walked into our bedroom and Andre quickly got up pulling me into his arms. "Why you leave? You okay? I'm so sorry baby. I swear I ain't do nun with that girl"
"I believe you, I miss them Andre" I broke down again.
"I know, but baby it's your birthday and I planed for us to do something so can you get all dolled up and let me take you out?" I nodded my head, he kissed me and I went to get dressed, to try to enjoy today.
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