EQG react to

It Started With Kidnapping

[DISCLAIMER]
KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(Scene opens up showing mountains followed by showing many wildlife until a Saiyan Space Pod comes crashing down at a distance, startling many ostriches and a farmer.)

"Well that was quick," Spike said, jumping on

" And i liked that scene," Fluttershy said sadly, seeing the peaceful scene end too quickly.

FARMER: Oh God, no! My marijuana patch! I mean, er... my carrot patch... yeah!

"Nice save jackass," Aria said with an eye roll.

FARMER: (thinking while driving towards the explosion) I better do what any sensible Middle American would do in this situation: (pulls out a rifle) Get mah gun!

"That's offense stereotyping," Applejack growled, not liking the joke.

(Space Pod opens up in a shiny light and Raditz emerges)

SPACE POD: Hello, and welcome to Earth... With open bar.

"My kind of Earth," Adagio said with a grin.

"But aren't you....," Rarity started to suggest.

"I'm a siren and old enough to be your ancestor three times over," Adagio answered, shutting the girl up.

FARMER: Holy crap, it's Sonic the Hedgeho-- Eh, no, it's an alien! Holy sh**, it's an alien!

"Pfft, I wish it was Sonic..." Rainbow sighed.

RADITZ: Finally on this dead plan-- (notices teeming wildlife) Wait... What the crap? Did Kakarrot screw this up? Oh god dammit, I knew we should've sent Turles.

"Who's this "Turles"?" Sonata asked.

"Non-Canon." Pinkie stated firmly.

FARMER: Better think of something cool to say to make him stop! (cocks shotgun while Raditz scans him with his scouter) Hey, you! (thinking to himself) Heh, genius farmer, genius!

"Boooo," Pinkie yelled, giving a thumbs down.

"I could come up with better lines," Sonata said with her hands cupping her mouth like a microphone.

RADITZ: Aw, look at him. He thinks he's people. What's your power level, little human? (checks his power level with scouter) Five, huh?

FARMER: Protect me, gun! (fires a shot at Raditz, who catches the bullet with his hand)

"Farmer used gun, it was ineffective," Rainbow laughed.

RADITZ: Hey! No! Bad human! (flings the bullet back at the farmer, sending him flying at towards his truck and killing him)

FARMER: (extreme quickly while flying towards his truck) Gah, I voted for Bush!

"Those are the stupidest last words i've ever heard," Aria groaned, shaking her head.

RADITZ: Bad! Now get back up and tell me you're sorry! Human? Huuuman? (sighs) So this is why Dad said I couldn't keep Appule...

"The fuck is a Appule? And why do i feel offended?" Applejack asked, feeling confused at that one line. The others couldn't answer so they just shrugged helplessly.

(opening sequence; scene shifts to a wasteland, where Piccolo is standing on top of a plateau)

PICCOLO: Good ol' wasteland! Yep! Sure is some kickass training!... Dammit, I'm lonely. Might as well check MySpace. (opens up his MySpace page) No new comments... No friend requests... Dammit. Well at least I have you, Tom. You're always there for me.

"This guy is desperately lonely..." Spike commented. "I almost feel sorry for him..."

"Does anyone even use MySpace anymore?" Twilight asked.

RADITZ: Hey! You!

PICCOLO: What the hell?

RADITZ: Are you Kakarrot? Seriously if you are, stay still! I need to talk to you about killing and selling this planet! It's really important! Oh, wait a second; you're not Kakarrot. My bad!

PICCOLO: I've got green skin, pointy ears and a turban. Oh yeah, I must look like so many other people!

"That's a good point," Fluttershy said, wondering how many others look like him. He was very unique looking and there can't be many like him around.

RADITZ: Oh, a smartass, huh? I don't appreciate smartasses. Prepare yourself for my signature attack: Double Sun--

(Screen suddenly turns monochrome and the scene pauses)

VEGETA3986: No!

LANIPATOR: Huh?

VEGETA3986: Give me the mic!

LANIPATOR: What--? No--come on, man!

VEGETA3986: Dude-- Give me the mic!

The entire crew could only stare in confusion as a picture of the original DragonBall appeared on screen with the words 'We are experiencing technical difficulties' superimposed over the top and bottom.

"What, what the heck is going on!?" Twilight asked, looking at the scene in confusion.

LANIPATOR: It's a real attack na--

VEGETA3986: NO IT ISN'T!

LANIPATOR: Fine! Here, take it. I'll just go practice my Vegeta. Ass!

(Scene rewinds and starts over)

"That was odd," Sunset said, confused by the random scene.

RADITZ: (in a different, deeper voice) Now prepare yourself for my signature attack: Keep Your Eye on the Bir-- (scouter beeps) Oooh! A higher power level!

"Woah! Did his balls drop in those few seconds?! What the heck happened to his voice!?" Sonata exclaimed

(Raditz flies higher in the air and looks around)

PICCOLO: (off-screen) Hey! What the hell! Weren't you going to kill me?

"Are you really gonna complain about that?" Spike said with a raised eyebrow.

RADITZ: Ah, there we go. Considering the average set by this one green guy and that farmer, the chances of this being Kakarrot are-- Dah, screw it, I'll just go and check!
(Raditz flies off)

PICCOLO: Fine! Go ahead! I didn't want your company anyway! Right Tom?

"That's just sad," Rarity stated pitifully.

(scene changes to Kame House with Bulma's ship arriving and Bulma walking towards the front door)

BULMA: Hey, I'm here!

KRILLIN: BOOBS! I mean, Bulma!.... Hi!

Sonata, Pinkie and Rainbow giggled as the others rolled their eyes... and Adagio licked her lips.

BULMA: Oooooooookaaaaaaaay, how's it going?

MASTER ROSHI: I'm drinking OJ! (cup changes to brown) Now it's apple juice! (cup changes to orange) Now it's beer! Yay beer! (chugs down beer)

"Wish I could do that," Adagio muttered, wanting a good martini right about now.

"Same," Pinkie complained, wishing for a milkshake right now.

KRILLIN: So where's Yamcha?

BULMA: I think the bastard's cheating on me!

KRILLIN: Why do you say that?

(flashback of Bulma walking in on Yamcha)

YAMCHA: (appears as a silhouette) Bulma! It's not what it looks li-- oh okay, it's totally what it looks like. Can I still live here? Please? Before this I was living in the desert. Oh, and did you change Puar's litterbox yet?

PUAR: (appears as a silhouette) I made boom-boom!

"Wow..." Pinkie and Rainbow muttered.

"This Yamcha sounds like an ass." Sunset growled, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Also sounds disappointing." Adagio groaned, shaking her head.

(back to present)

KRILLIN: Oh, are you serious? Yamcha? Oh, that is so out of char-- so you're single then?

"Give her time before asking. At least a day or two," Rarity chastised all ladylike.

(Goku jumps off Nimbus walks towards the front door)

GOKU: Hey guys!

(Bulma opens the door with Krillin running up after her)

BULMA: Goku!

KRILLIN: TAIL-- eh, wait, what?

(Goku laughs and holds up his arm)

BULMA: Uh Goku. I can't help but notice that five-year-old you're carrying.

KRILLIN: Goku, just because we picked you up in the middle of the woods when you were a kid doesn't mean you can go around stealing children.

GOKU: Erm, okay. (places Gohan on the ground) This is actually my son.

(Krillin, Bulma and Master Roshi are shocked along with the head of M. Night Shyamalan popping up)

M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN: What a twist!

"I guess it is," Sonata said, scratching her head.

"Well why else would he have a kid?" Rainbow said, knowing the story of the original Dragonball Z.

BULMA: Oh wow! I guess this means you finally, you know.

GOKU: Know what?

MASTER ROSHI: (appearing right next to Goku) You know, "Bow chicka wow wow."

GOKU: (completely oblivious) What are those noises you're making?

BULMA, MASTER ROSHI: (thinking simultaneously) Oh my God, he's a parent!

"How doesn't he know what sex is?" Twilight asked, her glasses falling down her nose a bit.

KRILLIN: So when's the little guy gonna start training?

(Gohan is seen playing with Turtle)

GOKU: Actually, Chi-Chi is making him study. She wants him to grow up and be... what's it called?

KRILLIN: A productive and responsible member of society?

GOKU: Yeah-- lame, that's it!

Twilight's eye twitched. "....wow, OUCH."

GOKU: (to Gohan) Hey son, come here! (Gohan runs towards Goku) Stop playing with the turtle! We don't need people saying things...

"What's wrong with turtles?" Rainbow Dash said with narrowed eyes.

BULMA: Hey, is that a DragonBall on his head? Doesn't that sorta make him a target for villains who might want them?

GOKU: Aw, come on. I beat Piccolo. I'm strong enough to beat anyone who-- (senses a disturbance) holy black on a Popo, what is that?!

"Is that racist?" Pinkie asked with a raised brow. "I feel like that's kind of racist."

MASTER ROSHI: What's wrong?

GOKU: I just felt a power level bigger than... than... Krillin's losing streak!

KRILLIN: (off-screen) ...You know, you guys are the reason I go to therapy...

"Not sure if i want to pity him or laugh at him," Adagio said, feeling torn between the two.

"I'm going with both," Sunset said, thinking it's an appropriate answer.

GOKU: (thinks) He's getting closer!

KRILLIN: Shouldn't we grab Gohan and put him insi-- (Raditz flies down in front of the group) Oh son of a...

"Well at least Krillin was thinking about the kid," Aria said with a nod of respect. A lesser man would of worried about himself instead.

RADITZ: It took me a while to get here, but I finally found you, Kakarot.

GOKU: ...What?

RADITZ: That's right, that's your name.

GOKU: ...What?

RADITZ: The name you were given before we sent you to this planet!

GOKU: ...What?

RADITZ: Yooouuu... hit your head as a child, didn't you?

(flashback of Goku banging his head as a baby)

"Ow!" Sunset hissed out.

"Kind of reminds me of what happen to Sonata back when we were younger," Aria said with a voice filled with nostalgia. Memories of when her younger sister falling out of the sky when they were flying around equestria's seas, and landing head first onto a lighthouse that was stationed on a small spit of land to help ships find land. The memory brought an amused smile on the middle sirens face, especially because she was the one who caused her sister to fall after having to lisand to her talk about her favorite type of fish to eat.

GOKU: ...What?

The more immature people of the group couldn't take it anymore and started to laugh as the more mature ones shook their heads.

RADITZ: Oh for god's sakes, listen! (display montage of Goku's Space Pod travelling to Earth and a group of Saiyans) You were sent here as a child to take over the planet. You're part of a dead race of intergalactic super warriors called the Saiyans. And to top off this expositional onslaught; I... am your brother!

(Shows the shocked faces of Goku, Bulma, Krillin, and Master Roshi. A crab falls off a tree in total surprise)

"Oh my... I don't really see it," Adagio stated seriously.

KRILLIN: So you're his brother, huh? (walks up towards Raditz) Wow, that must mean you'll be involved in lots of future events, right? Right?

(Raditz hits Krillin with his tail, sending him flying straight into Kame House)

(Krillin Owned Count: 1)

Everyone started to laugh or giggle, knowing this is gonna happen a lot. Aria hopes this never goes away.

KRILLIN: What did I say?

GOKU: Hey! Stop hitting Krillin!

RADITZ: Why?

GOKU: Because you're breaking Kame House!

KRILLIN: (offscreen, weakly) Yeah... Stop breaking Kame House...

"Think of the construction needed," Applejack said half seriously. She how much of a pain it was to repair walls in her barn and it wasn't a joking matter.

GOKU: So, what are you here for? The DragonBalls?

RADITZ: The... the dragon's what?

"I'm not sure if I like where this is going," Spike whimpered, backing up a bit.

"Don't worry, it's not what you think," Pinkie reassured, petting Spike to calm him down.

GOKU: The DragonBalls, you know? There are seven of them. They grant any wish you want-- like immortality?

OOLONG: Or Bulma's panties!

"Why would someone wish for that?" Sonata asked curiously.

"I can think of a few good reasons," Adagio stated seriously, her thoughts going from reasonable to down right immoral.

(cuts to Vegeta and Nappa on an unknown planet)

NAPPA: Vegeta, did you hear that?

VEGETA: Oh yeah, we're totally going to Earth to get our wish!

NAPPA: Yeah, we're gonna get panties! ...I mean immortality. Immortality is what I meant, right Vegeta?

VEGETA: ...Just get in the damn pod!

Adagio looked at Sonata after hearing that and said nothing. While Sonata was a scatter brain, the bald man made the blue haired girl look like a genius.

(cuts back to Kame House. Raditz walks towards Kame House while Bulma picks up Gohan and moves away.)

RADITZ: No... I'm here for you, Kakarrot.

GOKU: So, what are we gonna do? See a ballgame? Catch a movie?

RADITZ: We're going to kill everyone on the planet and then sell it for profit to an alien overlord who may or may not have destroyed our own planet. (scene shows a planet flashing and then exploding)

"That was oddly specific," Sunset said.

"Wouldn't that be foreshadowing?" Fluttershy asked, getting a shrug in response.

GOKU: Oh. Well, uh, I sorta like people here, so with all due respect-- (Raditz knees Goku in the stomach, sending him flying and screaming as he comes crashing down into the ground)

"Yeah, diplomacy won't work in this case," Aria said, wanting more fighting and less talking.

GOHAN: (runs towards Goku) Daddy!

RADITZ: (walks up and grabs Gohan) I'll be taking this! Yoink! (flies away holding Gohan in his arm)

GOKU: (weakly) Quick! Somebody stop him! (crickets chirp in silence) Dammit, Krillin!

"What the hell is he going to do? Crawl towards him threateningly?" Aria snickered, thinking the mental image was funny. "Actually I would love to see that happen."

KRILLIN: Hey! I was bitch-slapped through a house! What's your excuse?!

GOKU: I was kneed in the stomach!

"Not really a fair comparison," Applejack said.

(Krillin gasps and looks into the sky)

PICCOLO: You guys are pathetic! (Goku gasps while everyone looks at the sky and stares at Piccolo) ...What?

(Piccolo lands in front of the group)

GOKU: Aw jeez... Hey look, I know you totally wanna kill me and all, but today's kind of a bad day. My brother just showed up, turns out I'm an alien, he stole my kid!

"Mondays, am I right?" Sunset sighed, knowing everything bad happens on Mondays. It's like the week wants to say fuck you as loud as possible.

PICCOLO: Oh yeah; I was watching that! That was priceless! (Piccolo starts laughing while Krillin and Master Roshi stare at him in disbelief) ...Sorry for your loss.

"No you're not," Aria laughed, liking the guy right now.

GOKU: Yeah. Anyway, wanna help me get him back?

PICCOLO: Whyyyyy?

GOKU: I'll friend you on MySpace!

(Piccolo stares blanky at Goku and then the scene suddenly shifts to Goku and Piccolo flying towards Raditz)

PICCOLO: (in his thoughts) Tom, you've been replaced!

"Poor Tom," Pinkie mock cried while Rainbow played an invisible volin mockingly.

(ending sequence)

[STINGER]

(Master Roshi is seen holding a Crunch bar)

MASTER ROSHI: Now it's a Nestlé Crunch bar! (Crunch bar turns into a gummi bear) Now it's a gummi bear! (gummi bear turns into Nappa's head) Now it's Nappa!

NAPPA/the group: Wait, what the hell?

The gang just laughed at the ending scene.

"That was pretty good," Sunset said, recovering from her laughing fit.

"Agreed. I wouldn't mind seeing more of this," Aria admitted, wanting a bit more action. Most of the group agreed while some were interested to see where this goes.

"We'll get the next episode set up then," Pinkie yelled, clicking on the next episode.