𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐓 𝟗.

five

Chan was face to face with two mirrors.

In the first mirror, his reflection reeked of death and misery. He saw dark circles, deathly pale skin, chapped colorless lips, and dull eyes. His suit was covered in blood, a small hole where the bullet had gone through. He had never seen himself look so close to death. He got chills staring at the reflection. But oddly enough, he felt warm inside.

In the second, the boy saw himself wearing white. He was healthy and youthful, wearing a smile on his face. His eyes shone brightly, his face held a healthy glow and his lips were smooth and soft. But he knew himself better than that. He saw the undetected sadness behind the eyes of what was meant to be better.

Which meant death and which meant life?

Was this a choice?

Did he really get to decide if he lived or died?

"Maybe it was better if I died," the boy thought, "Felix hates me, I'm basically the shittiest leader ever, and to top it all off, I can't even keep my family safe."

Chan's eyes welled with tears, and he collapsed to his knees. "You don't deserve to live," he whispered to himself between sobs. "you don't mean anything to anyone. Even God wouldn't love you."

Look again, he heard in his mind. He listened to the voice, and shakily stood.

His reflection was no longer there. Instead, he saw Felix with tears on his face, carrying his limp body on his shoulder, and meeting the members at the van. The scene played out, and he watched his members sob as they attempted to stabilize him. He felt his cheeks grow wet, and he realized that he was crying with them.

Shared joys, shared losses.

Do you really not know how important you are? the small voice said. They need you. But it's still your choice.

"Chan, will you decide to live or die?"

He stood shocked. "I don't know," he said, shaking his head. "I don't know."

Dying is simple, Chan, but living is harder.

"You have ten seconds to decide. Nine. Eight. Seven—"

He wiped the tears of his face. He thought of Felix, and knew he wouldn't be at peace knowing an argument was the last that was spoken. He thought of his family, Stray Kids, and made his decision.

"I WANT TO LIVE!" Chan yelled. "Please," He whispered. "Let me be with them."

=

His eyes opened to bright light. He took a breath, and all he can feel is pain.

He groans and looks around, unaware of his surroundings. When his vision focuses, he sees Stray Kids surrounding him. The closest to him were Felix, whose face was still damp with tears, and Jeongin, whose face was puffy from crying. Hyunjin, Jisung, and Minho were standing nervously around him as well. Woojin, Changbin, and Seungmin sat in the back of the room.

"He's awake," said Felix, relief evident on his face. "don't scare me like that again, mate."

"Where am I?"

"The safe house in the mountains. Woojin drove us here."

"Oh. Is everyone okay?"

"We managed to escape, but the van took a serious toll, and we left a lot of equipment at our other safe house. But other than your injury, yes, everyone's fine."

Chan relaxed almost immediately. "Good."

"You're gonna have to rest for a few weeks, Chan. Your body needs to heal. Their shot was very close to killing you. We can take care of everything. Sleep," said Woojin, ruffling the boy's hair gently. "you need it."

"Don't let anyone die." Chan joked.

"Don't worry, I won't let you die." Woojin replied, leaving the room, followed by all but Felix.

"I'm sorry." Felix whispered, looking down to the ground.

"What did you say?"

"I said I'm sorry. I shouldn't have argued with you. You almost died, and the last interaction we had would have been an argument," the boy began to sniffle. "I should have listened to you—"

"Felix."

"Yeah?"

"Come here," He nodded, and walked over to Chan. "When I was unconscious, I was face to face with two mirrors, one showing life and the other death. I couldn't tell which was which. I was given a choice, and although I felt I didn't deserve a second chance, I took it— for all of you. For Stray Kids," the boy took Felix's hand. "I wasn't going to give up on you just yet. I'm here because of you."

Felix was speechless.

"Go get some sleep, Lix. I'm all right."

"Okay. Goodnight Chan." Felix said as he left the room.

Chan simply smiled.

=

short chapter today.— sorry guys. i hope it's not bad.
:/