I'm Not Complaining That It's Raining (sequel to Aventures)

Epilogue

"Oh, God, I'm so nervous."

"C'mon, Bren. It's not the first time we see him."

My husband stared at me, not believing what I just told him. "But today, we get to take him home!"

"I know, Bren. Just relax, yeah?" I found myself extremely hypocritical to tell him that, considering I was a complete nervous wreck. Today was an important day for me, but I think it was an even more important day for him. He had been waiting for this for so long, and now that it was actually happening, he just seemed to be so unbelievably febrile.

Personally, I was simply anxious. Probably more anxious I had ever been in my entire life. I was going to do everything in my power to make sure I wouldn't be the father mine was, but I was terrified of failing. Failing meant disapointing Brendon, disapointing our child, and disapointing myself.

He put a reassuring hand on my thigh, rubbing it slightly, "it's going to be okay. Everything's going to be okay. We'll sign the paper, and then get him home. You'll be a great dad, and we'll be a perfectly happy family. Okay? I believe in you. You'll do just fine. We'll do just fine."

I nodded, staring at the emptiness of the road. "I know, fuck, I know. I'm nervous. Fuck, I'm terrified. What if I'm just like George? Hell, what if I'm even worse?"

Brendon looked at me sympathetically, before quickly putting his attention back to the road in front of us. "You won't. You're nothing like him, and I know that. I barely even knew the guy, but I know you won't treat Matthew like that man treated you. You're not him. You're Ryan, not George. You'll be amazing, I'm absolutely sure you will."

I looked at him, my hands shaking slightly. I had to calm down, I had to breathe, relax, breathe, chill, breathe, calm down, breathe, slow down, brea-

"We're almost here. You want me to go alone? I can go, if you want. Really, it's completely fine."

I shook my head, "no, I want to be there. Yeah?"

He smiled and nodded, his hand tight on the steering wheel. "Yeah. I'm happy you're coming."

I smiled a little, not too sure if I meant it just yet. I had to be there, to support Brendon, to be there for him in this, to be the good husband I never was, to be the good father mine wasn't, I had to be there. There was just no discussing about that. I was going, period.

When Brendon pulled into the driveway, I think my heart just stopped beating. I still wonder how I was even able to walk.

I got out of the car, walking nervously to the orphanage. My hands were shaking horribly, and my knees were extremely weak. I was absolutely certain I would end up passing out before even getting to the building, but first thing I knew, I was inside the orphanage, Brendon holding my hand extremely tight.

We walked to The-Lady-Whose-Name-I-Could-Never-Remember's office, and Brendon knocked softly. A few seconds later, she opened the door, greeting us with the warmest of smiles.

We came in, and sat at her office. Behind her desk was a door, which I now knew lead to the room where the youngest children slept.

She sat in front of us, her bright smile still on, as she asked the casual questions. Brendon answered them happily, while I just tightened my grip around his hand. My fingers were turning a little white, but I didn't care.

The lady took a few papers from the top drawer on the left side of her desk, and put them in front of Brendon and I, explaining where we had to sign, and what the contracts included. She explained everything in the contract, making sure she didn't forget any essential details. When she was done, Brendon and I both signed, and I was surprise I could hold the pen. This could not end well for me.