I'll always be there for you

"I know sometimes it gets hard, but please don't give up, I'll always be there for you" Jin could feel the tears that were building up in his eyes, finally stream down his cheeks.

He began sobbing his eyes out in Namjoon's embrace.

"No matter where you are, what time it is, I'll always be right beside you, so please, if you ever think it won't work out, come to me"

Jin's hands gripped Namjoon's jacket tight, he didn't want their leader to let go of him, he was the only one keeping Jin together at the moment.

"Come, let's go inside, I'll make you some hot chocolate" Jin nodded and together the walked of the roof and back into their dorms, neither of them letting the other go.

Once inside the dorm the rest gave Jin pitifull looks but knew not to bother him at the moment, they'd been through this before, all of them.

Life as an idol wasn't easy, many people thought it was just singing songs, practising dance routines, taking part in variety shows and that's it.

But it was so much more.

The strain it put on your physical health, the endless hours of practise, wanting to get better but being unable to.

The strain it put on your mental health was even worse, the tiniest hate comment could affect you.

But that wasn't as bad as when fans said "I liked it, but it would've been better if ..." because all they wanted to do was please people.

They wanted their fans to be happy.

And sadly, they ended up losing their own hapiness in the process.

It was no secret to eachother that most of them had developed mental health issues.

Everyone knew about Jimin's eating disorders, or how Hoseok refused to leave the dance studio until he got everything perfect even if he literally collapsed while trying. It wouldn't be the first time another member had to go and find Hoseok unable to move.

It was no surprise when they found Yoongi demanding the managers to let him see his psychiatrist and let him highten his dose of anti-depressive.

Some of them like Taehyung didn't develop a disorder but simply just lost the flame they had when starting as an idol.

And when they found Jungkook staring at a wall with a blank look, compeltely curling in on himself, none of them were surprised, just like how nobody was surprised when they found Jin on a roof staring in front of him, wondering if he should jump or not.

People might say "if that's how it is, they should go to a psychiatrist"

But it isn't that easy. For they were idols, and the media would eat up any negative story, and a scandal is not what their agency wants so there's no possibility to a true treatment.

"Here you go" Namjoon said handing the oldest a mug.

Jin stared at Namjoon's wrist, seeing the new injection wounds on his arm, he felt a pang in his heart.

All of them knew about Namjoon's drug addiction, but none of them said anything about it, they had an unspoken rule that they should help eachother without confronting the situation.

Jin wished Namjoon didn't have to use things as dark as drugs, but the leader had once told him it was the only thing keeping him sane, so after that Jin could only silently watch Namjoon's descent into addiction.

The two idols sat next to eachother on the couch, hot chocolate warming their hands. Both wishing that this wasn't how their lives had turned out.