Free Rein P.H

*27*

Unedited
It's never been easy to stop crying when you really let go and once the guest walked into the lounge I tried feebly to cover it up.
My hands flew to my face, simultaneously trying to dry my eyes, wipe my nose and cover my whole face. Instead I dropped my head into a pillow and mumbled a hello.
"Phoebe? What's the matter?" Footsteps rushed towards me and kind hands rubbed up and down my back soothingly.
"Are you okay?" The male voice asked and I shook my head, face still buried in the pillow.
"Hey, look at me." I felt two hands on either side of my face and I was forced to look up.
"Hey." Alex smiled.
My face crumpled once more at the familiar act of kindness. Throughout everything Alex had always been the light guiding me through the darkness.
He suddenly rushed to the other side of the lounge, grabbed a pack of tissues sitting on the desk and hurried back to the window seat.
He tapped my legs, indicating for me to swing them round so that he could sit next to me and I obliged.
He then passed me the tissues and allowed myself to gain my composure.
"What happened?" His searching gaze never left my face and I sighed defeatedly, the wall that I had decided to build up, crumbling at my feet under Alex's gaze.
I steadied my breathing before explaining everything.

*.          *.            *. 

"I'm gonna kill him."
"Alex, no." I protested as he stood up sharply. I reached for his arm, missing slightly as my feet were still curled up on the window seat and I toppled forwards. I landed on the floor with a large thump and laughed at myself helplessly.
Alex sighed and crouched down beside me, wrapping one arm securely around my waist before helping me back onto the window seat.
"I just can't understand why anyone would do that to you." He frowned and I shook my head.
"It's complicated, I suppose."
"No, Phoebe. It's not." He reprimanded.
"Just... tell me he's not worth it and let me cry." I half laughed. I leant sideways, placing my head on his shoulder and he wrapped an arm round me comfortingly.
My phone beeped and, out of habit, I peered down at it. Zoe had posted a new pic. Of her and Marcus. I scoffed. The boyfriend had returned. Just as she'd kissed mine.

*.          *.            *. 

I was still curled up on the window seat with Alex when the door creaked open loudly. My eyes were sore but I had stopped crying and managed to clean up my face a bit.
"Phoebe?"
I rolled my eyes.
"Pin."
"What are you doing?" I looked up and saw him eyeing Alex and I suspiciously.
"What?"
He walked over to us and grabbed my wrist gently.
"Come on, let's go out for dinner tonight." He smiled down at me, that familiar warm smile that he reserved just for me.
I yanked my wrist away from him.
"Not tonight, Pin."
He frowned and tried to pull me towards him, his grip tightening painfully. I winced and he released me suddenly. His gaze turned to the boy beside me and he chuckled in an accusatory way.
"Oh, I see."
I frowned, looking between the two boys. Alex looked rather alarmed while Pin looked pretty mad. I could feel the emotions from earlier rising inside me. Anger most predominantly.
"Are you serious?" I stood from the seat and paced towards Pin. I stood a couple of inches away from him, looking up.
"Did you hear that Marcus is back?"
"What? Why would you-?"
"Does he know that you kissed his girlfriend, Peter?"
The room fell silent.
It was then that I heard Alex shuffling awkwardly. Pin's eyes flashed towards him, burning with a barely concealed rage. He gritted his teeth, jaw pulsing and I decided to remove him from the room.
My small hand grabbed at his sleeve and it took quite some effort for me to drag him out of the lounge. We emerged into the fancy hallway and my heart ached for the cosy stables at Bright Fields.
I felt tears burning in my eyes as Pin just stared down at me, his own eyes clouding with emotions. Conflicting emotions of anger and sadness shone behind his pupils.
I noticed the closeness between the two of us and stepped backwards. Pin noticed and took a step forwards.
He finally spoke.
"What did you mean?"
"Oh I saw you two. On the beach? And you have the audacity to suggest that I would cheat on you?"
"Phoebe. I'm sorry I didn't-"
"Didn't mean to? Of course you did Pin!" By this point I was standing chest to chest with him, letting my emotions free as tears began to flow down my cheeks.
"I love you Pin. I trusted you. And you went and kissed my best friend? I always knew there was something between you two. Those glances that you thought I never saw. Those secret smiles. You can't love both of us at once Pin."
I stopped to inhale deeply, trying to stop the flow of tears blinding me.
I tried to step away from him as he grabbed my arms.
"Phoebe. I'm sorry."
"No, Pin." I pushed him away, stepping backwards towards the wall until my back pressed flat against it. Pin still tried gripping my arms but I pushed him away once more.
"No, Pin. We're over. Just leave me alone!"
"What...?" His whisper was barely audible.
"No."
"It wasn't a question, Peter." I looked up at him and regretted it immediately. My eyes dropped to the floor as I tried to forget his broken expression.
"Please, Phoebe." He grabbed my waist, pushing me further into the wall as he stepped closer, chest against mine.
"She said leave her alone."
Suddenly his weight was gone and I bit my lip as Alex stood protectively in front of me.
Yet again the floor seemed incredibly interesting as I ignored Pin's fierce gaze.
With a huff he turned away and it broke my heart to see the tears finally dripping down his face.
Once he had turned the corner Alex turned to me and I raced towards him, flinging myself into his arms, sobbing.
Usually I would have turned to Zoe, she would have known exactly what to say. But it was a double heartbreak I had suffered today.

*. *. *.

I managed to catch a ride home with Alex and his older sister in her car. The journey was pretty much silent except for Radio one playing quietly and I appreciated it. Gazing out at the British countryside was incredibly relaxing and I felt myself calming down from the hysterics of earlier.
"Thank you!" I called as the car drove away and I walked up the garden path.
"Hey sweetheart. How was your day?" My mom chirped from the lounge.
"Great." I mustered up a happy voice. "I'm real tired though so I'm going to sleep."
"Okay, sleep well."

I trudged up the stairs and into my room, flopping helplessly on my bed. I removed my shoes and curled up on my side.
As I often did when I felt overwhelmed I decided to organise my thoughts.
The events leading up to today had included:
Zoe and Pin flirting.
Pin and I getting sent to Holloway.
Me having to cut off contact with Zoe and Bright Fields because of Holloway.
Holloway becoming a sort of family.
Alex...

Then the events of today:
Zoe and Pin...
Crying my eyes out to Alex.
Pin accusing me of cheating on him with Alex.
Breaking up with Pin...

I sighed, grabbing a pillow and hugging it but I began to cry when it made me miss Pin's hugs. I lay motionless in bed, tears tickling my nose as they ran sideways down my face.
I stayed that way until I drifted into a deep, exhausted sleep.