The Dreaded Eating Disorder

Why?

Once again, she stared herself down on the mirror, her eyes stinging with hot tears. Fat. The very same word that had been spoken to her so many years ago was now echoing in her head, over and over again, clawing at her sanity.

Once again, she struggled to  excuses as to why she refused to eat. The food was no longer enjoyable, as it only brought her pain, as she watched the contents of her plate transform into a mountain of calories right in front of her very eyes. That's all her mind allowed her to see.

Once again, she pressed her ear against the cold metallic door, grasping ahold of yet another rant consisting of her mother's concern. What's this? Her Mum thinks she's losing weight unhealthily fast? She looked down at her self, hoping to see some change, yet she was greeted by the same view she saw in the mirror each morning. A single tear ran down her cheekbone. She was convinced that Mum has no idea what she was talking about.

Once again, she gripped the rim of the porcelain sink and tried to steady her hands. This was her punishment. Her punishment for overeating, her punishment for being gluttonous, her punishment for being fat. She raised a finger toward her mouth and tried to reach the back of her throat, causing her to gag numerous times. This was what it was going to take.

Once again, she would appear in public and apply her artificial smile, but I am the only once who can see through it.

Every day I read her face, I read her emotions and fears, and try to pick apart what could possibly be going on inside her head. How can I read her though, when no one else can? Glasses? Clairvoyance? Telepathy? No.

I can read her, because our mental visions are one in the same. We read each other, so we can fight this fight together.