As I Write This Letter...

4. A Handful of Earth

Swara had wanted to hate Sonal Singh, or be angry with her or just upset with her. Unfortunately, she found Sonal to be a sweet girl and Swara realised that she actually liked her and could also sympathise with her. Swara knew how it was to be shy and then be teased for it; if it had not been for Kiara, she would not be where she now was.

Sonal had come around three weeks before her wedding to invite all of them to her wedding celebrations and Swara had been excited till she learnt that the groom was not SM. Unable to hide her curiosity, she commented, "But then you were in love with SM, right? So how is it that you are marrying someone else? Would that not be cheating?"

Any further questions Swara could have were silenced when Kiara shushed her and she felt her grandmother glare at her. She sighed, that happened only when she stepped outside the confines of acceptable social behaviour, and even if she believed that people should be open and honest with their feelings, there were times when she realised that it was better to keep one's opinions to oneself. She was about to apologise when Sonal surprised them by answering, "I think it was only an infatuation on my part, I had only seen him a couple of times and have never spoken to him. Further, even though you have been sending notes all these days, I have not received a single word of acknowledgement or reply. And when my parents asked me to meet my fiancé, I could not refuse, there was no reason to do so; we liked each other and now are getting married. So all is well, I guess."

"Are you not too young, you are sixteen?"

Sonal chortled, "I do get that a lot, I am twenty but I look much younger, guess it is in the genes, my Dadi and my mother can pass off as sisters and it angers my mom. There are times I hate it but there is nothing much I can do unless I apply makeup to look older."

There was an awkward pause before Sonal continued, "Anyway, apart from inviting you for my wedding, I wanted to tell you guys that you can stop sending the bouquet and notes. I should have told this to you much earlier, but I think I was too embarrassed to call and let you know. I am sorry for all the trouble you had to go through for my stupidity."

Kiara, ever the professional, was quick to assure Sonal that it had been no trouble for them and that they had welcome the chance to assist her. However, when Kiara worked out the amount they would have to refund, Sonal refused to take it, "please do not embarrass me further, I am not taking a paisa back, in fact, I think, I have paid you less in the first place and if you start insisting, I can and will recalculate the entire cost and that would have me paying you."

Swara took advantage of the on-going argument to slip away, she had been stunned when Sonal had mentioned cancelling the contract and she was surprised that she was not happy that she would not have to write any notes. She ran into her garden and sat on the stone bench wondering what was wrong with her that she was going to miss writing those notes, she had found reading and writing difficult even as an adult.

Swara had always been a slow learner, having difficulty in reading and writing. Till she was five years old, the trauma of the accident and losing her parents were offered as a basis and then put forward as an excuse, but her learning curve did not improve; it dipped as she grew older. Swara was intelligent and creative; there was no dispute about it, and she had no hearing or optical disorders, yet somehow her school grades were never commensurate with her intelligence.

Swara would not have minded being labelled stupid, it gave her the perfect reason not to study or do her homework, though it set in a vicious cycle. What tormented her was the teasing she had to put up with, both for her inability to keep up with the class and for being the smallest of the lot. She had tried to give it back but that only made them tease her more so she simply ignored everything, tolerating the hours she had to be in school and spending all her spare time in the garden at home, where every plant under her care flourished. She also took care to ensure that news of her being teased did not reach Kiara, it would end up in a fist fight.