the boy with the chestnut curls 》h.s

IV - Nobody

-April 2nd- 

There is a boy who goes by the name of Harry. 

We didn't converse much after the incident that occurred just a week ago. The only words we had exchanged were towards our book report. That was all we ever socialized about; nothing more, nothing less. 

All these emotions kept engulfing my mind and thoughts day after every wretched day. Always residing in my thoughts, that same toxic question kept repeating itself over and over like a broken record stuck on repeat,

'how could I have not noticed sooner?'

How could I not have noticed the pain that was not only revealed on his face, but also on his arms?

All of the fake smiles, the distant laughs, the secrets hidden beneath his emerald eyes. They all came together finally, and it had become all clear. The feeling of blindness was no more but instead, a new feeling of helplessness arouse inside of me. 

I so eagerly wanted to stride straight up to him, look at him directly into his eyes and say  "You're not alone" because maybe that's all he really needs; someone to rely on, someone that will be there for him when he needs a shoulder to lean on the most. The feeling of security and reassurance that everything is alright even when he doesn't feel like anything is alright at all. 

It's quite scary what a plastered mask of deception can fool.

This boy - He always had a smile on his face and we all truly believed that he was this content person on the inside. We all were so certain  that he was remarkably comfortable in his own skin and we all had admired him so much for that trait we all thought he had possessed. He was there for every single person so they wouldn't have to feel alone;

But what we didn't realize is that he needed someone to make the emptiness lurking in the pit of his body, disappear. He longed for the feeling of being okay and he wished for the happiness that most of us so easily possessed and the happiness that everyone thought they knew him for. 

I wanted to help him so badly. I wanted to try with all my strength to make him have the happiness that he so truly deserves. 

-e.m

~

Chapter 4;

Nobody

~

He was sitting unaccompanied and alone on the bleachers during the hour of lunch. He seemed like he was faraway, lost in a world of his own figment of imagination. He sighed heavily, looking down at his shoes and cupping his hands together. 

Taking gradual and reserved steps, I ended up making my way towards the boy, longing for him not to notice the company of my presence just yet. Unfortunately, my stealth was no match for his keen ears and instantly I'm met with the loudness of his voice,

"What do you need?" His voice sounded hoarse, almost like it wasn't actually his to begin with; It was distant and cold and held such a heavy feeling to it. 

"I..I just wanted to talk to you." my voice let out weakly. How is it that I'm the one who's supposed to be strong in front of him, yet here I am cowering away? One of the greatest weakness's I have- being afraid. 

"What's there to talk about exactly?" He quickly shoots back in a nonchalant tone. 

After the words fall from his lips, he looks up from the ground to let his eyes wander around the scenery set in front of him. He looks off into the horizons view, just staring blankly, not letting out a single sound except the faint softness of his breaths.